He called it a "bonehead mistake," a "brain cramp," and said it cost him a win.

But even if he hadn't made a first-inning throwing error, you can't win without any runs.

"Then it cost me a no-decision," he said in a Mets' clubhouse as quiet as a funeral home, looking for any opening to pound himself again. "We still might be playing."

Just like he has all year, he gave up almost nothing in a big game, allowing three hits and an unearned run in seven innings. But his first-inning throwing error led to the only run, and the Mets lost 1-0 to Atlanta on Friday night, falling behind 3-0 in NLCS.

Leiter actually outpitched Tom Glavine, who allowed at least one runner in each of his seven innings.

"I never thought that run would cost the game," Mets manager Bobby Valentine said. "I felt it in my bones. Got to get some new bones."

Leiter thought back to Sept. 4, 1998, when he beat Glavine 2-1 on Mike Piazza's two-run homer. He dreamed about another two-run homer erasing the stigma from that bad throw.

But the Mets still trailed by a run when Shawon Dunston pinch hit for Leiter in the seventh, finishing his night and probably his season.

The pitcher put on his warmup jacket, sat in the dugout and spit at the ground, looking like had run through the streets of New York in a marathon. It seemed he had left every drop of his energy out on the field.

Then Leiter turned cheerleader, clapping and trying to shout his teammates to a run after Dunston struck out but reached on a passed ball.

"You're pulling and you're cheering and you're hoping to get the big hit," he said.

But the Mets didn't score then. They didn't score all night long. Without any runs, the best pitching in the world won't win a game.

Truth be told, the Braves' heralded pitching staff has been the difference in this series, holding New York to five runs in three games while the Braves have pushed just nine runners across.

Mets pitchers have been good, but the Braves' staff of Greg Maddux, John Smoltz, Kevin Millwood and Glavine has been great.

John Olerud is 2-for-11 without an RBI in the three games. Piazza is 2-for-11 with one RBI. Robin Ventura is 0-for-9 without an RBI.

"We felt today was a must win, and we didn't come through," Piazza said. "That makes the task tough. We put ourselves in this position and we have to live with it. We have to battle and try to put one win on the board, and then see what happens."

During the regular season, the trio combined to drive in 340 runs, an average of more than two a game.

"They do a good job of mixing speeds," Olerud said. "I've gotten pitches I can hit, but I've fouled them off."

All that doesn't mean much to Leiter now. He gave up the unearned run, mainly because he walked Gerald Williams leading off the game and then threw away Bret Boone's comebacker.

That may be the hardest thing to live with. He had no problems with throws to the plate, just to first base.

"I beat myself up in the dugout after the inning," he said. "I said: 'One run, keep them there.' "

He listened to himself. But the way it turned out, by then it was too late.