Tuesday, November 23 Seeing is disbelieving By Brian Murphy Special to ESPN.com

I guess it was Jim Miller who got me thinking of George Carlin.

	Bears quarterback Jim Miller has put up unbelievable numbers in his first two starts.

Carlin, one of the country's more underrated comics through the years, once wrote a book of his musings and had one chapter titled: "Things You Rarely See." It was the usual Carlin zaniness. You know: A dance instructor with at least one cloven hoof. Don't think it's funny? Say it to yourself in Carlin Voice. It's funny as hell.

And as I sat and digested Week 11's absurdities, I could only think: Here we are in the NFL, that bastion of dependability, and we can't depend on diddly.

Everywhere we look, we're seeing things we never see. Some guy named Jim Miller doing his best Dan Marino. Junior Seau on offense. The Rams toying with the 49ers.

FedEx Stadium.

Imagine you were a football fan unfrozen from just six years ago. You check out a world where Titans and Jaguars rule, where Cardinals beat Cowboys and where the only comforting sight is the Cleveland Browns, taking it on the chin from the Carolina Panthers. (Nyah-nyah. Told you so.)

I'm telling you, every Sunday it's another thing we rarely see. Sounds like a List of Five to me:

1. Brett Favre making the throat-slash gesture.

OK. Next time I see that from anybody, it's too freaking soon. Like we need a world where that stuff is endorsed. Like this world isn't violent enough. Hey, I know I sound like Pat Buchanan here, but of all the silly, unnecessary sports stuff that has been hoisted on us in this, the decade of apocalypse, I think the throat-slitting gesture is top of the list.

Remember Jamal Anderson's mom doing that all through the playoffs last year? Disturbing. My mom used to give me vanilla wafers when I came home from school and made my brown-bag lunch every morning. Now we've got Moms giving the homicidal high sign. Plus, our beloved league's best player is doing it. Enough already!

2. Happy Rams fans.

Dig this -- at the end of the Rams' victory over the 49ers at Candlestick, blue-and-yellow-clad fans gathered near the tunnel and chanted for their heroes: "Sup-er Bowl!, Sup-er Bowl!" Talk about things you rarely see.

That's something we'd never want to see! Last time I saw the Rams in the Super Bowl, it was during a TBS rerun of "Heaven Can Wait," and that was frightening enough. Now we have gloating Rams, on top of it all. Todd Lyght mocking the 49ers. Dick Vermeil saying "the mystique has ended." What's next, Georgia Frontiere washing the dye out of her hair? It might be all too much to bear.

3. Junior Seau catching a pass.

So you know the Chargers have mailed in their season when they send ol' No. 55 out on a pass pattern. Just satiating the ego of perhaps the game's most ego-driven player. Yeah, the Chargers need your help at tight end, Junior. Freddie Jones, who leads all NFL tight ends in catches, isn't getting the job done. Dude, pipe down unless you can play quarterback and really help the team. Or wide receiver. Or offensive tackle.

And let's acknowledge something else while we're at it: You got your block knocked off on that catch. I mean, dude, you got killed. Pummeled. Crunched. So getting up and spiking the ball seems a lit-tle silly. Act like you've been there before, baby. Take the lick and go back to the huddle. That's much cooler than the over-the-top nonsense, pal.

4. FedEx Stadium.

Say what you want about Jack Kent Cooke: megalomaniac, nutbag, rich old freak. But the guy did it the old-fashioned way, and built himself a stadium using his own cake. He deserves the naming rights. He built the damn thing! But JKC is in his grave -- what, less than two years? -- and Owner Boy Danny Snyder pawns it all for $250 million.

We understand the deal about stadiums having to sell their names to finance construction. Hell, our beloved San Francisco Giants are doing it all with private money, and part of the price is calling it Pacific Bell Park. You don't hock the memory of Jack Kent Cooke to line pockets. Unless you don't have a clue.

5. The hero of Everyman, Jim Miller.

If the Rams are going to the Super Bowl and the 49ers are going to the toilet and the Broncos are one of the league's worst teams, then, hell, bring on Jim Miller. He's the perfect quarterback for this imperfect season. Kurt Warner wishes he had this guy's game -- 779 passing yards in two weeks? From a guy who has played for seven teams -- including the Frankfurt Galaxy, for the love of Dieter Brock! (Doesn't Dieter Brock sound like he should have played in Frankfurt? I think so.)

These past two games are only his second and third NFL starts, ever! Man, I'd be willing to turn this guy into a folk hero if I hadn't read that his hometown was ritzy Gross Pointe, Mich. A folk hero from Gross Pointe? Now that's something we rarely see.