Think it's bad when your team is struggling, off to its worst start in 35 years and without a win at 0-4-3? Think it's bad that you've given up 19 goals in seven games while scoring only 11? Think it's bad that you're on a six-game road trip in which all opponents, including the Stanley Cup champion Dallas Stars, are almighty?

Yes, it's bad all right. Really bad for the Boston Bruins.

	Byron Dafoe says his fight with Boston management is about the future as well as the present.

But, hey, at least they're playing. In an era where holdout players are a given, the Bruins' most valuable player continues to sit -- even if he can't bear to watch.

Goalie Byron Dafoe remained behind on the North Shore of Boston, skating side-by-side with two other players in search of a team -- defenseman Grant Ledyard and Bob Sweeney.

Around the league, Bill Guerin has asked for a trade from Edmonton because he can't come to contract terms. Unrestricted free agent Pat Verbeek is lying very low these days. There is speculation that he's close to signing with some team, although he turned down $1 million from Toronto. Joe Juneau also has no club and neither does former Bruin Dimitri Khristich.

Dafoe's days are like a scene from the movie "Groundhog Day." Every morning he wakes up, it's the same thing over and over and over.

"I wake up in the morning," said Dafoe, "and realize it's still going on. I head off for Salem (N.H.) and I skate with Grant Ledyard. Bob Sweeney has been out, and a couple other guys. We skate for a couple of hours and then work out either at home or at the gym attached to the rink. Then, we find some time during the day to do something, like take my wife out. If there's a game on that night, I might catch part of it. The last few, I haven't really paid that much attention to."

He's bored, he misses his teammates, his coach, his role on the team. While his club is on its annual grueling trek across the Western part of the country, Dafoe's offseason continues.

"I must admit," he said, "the days are quite long. At this point of the year, I usually have a schedule and I'm very busy. My wife (Kim) and I thought about maybe going somewhere, but with a baby coming, I don't really want to rock the boat too much for my wife. And we've got our dogs. I stay busy but the days are long."

At one point, Dafoe went to his offseason home in Southern California but came back because he had commitments in the Boston area.

He said they've given thought to going back to their native Canada for a visit but elected to stay in Boston for now. You have to believe he is still holding on to the idea that he will still sign. The Dafoes' first child is due Jan. 28 and as much as he's enjoying their time together, Dafoe said this is the most togetherness he and his wife have ever had. By now, Dafoe has always been playing hockey.

"I don't know who wants me to sign more," said Dafoe. "Her just to get me out of the house or me because I miss the game."

For the most part, his days do not include watching the Bruins. He said it's simply too difficult. He doesn't get anything out of the experience except a case of acute frustration. He hasn't really kept in touch with anyone during the trip except for a brief online chat with goalie Rob Tallas, who had borrowed the computer of teammate Anson Carter.

"Honestly, I haven't watched the last few games," Dafoe said. "I find it very hard. The first couple of games I got through, but those are my buddies out there. Seeing what they're going through, it's frustrating for me to not be playing and it's doubly frustrating to see them losing the way that they are. I can just imagine being in the dressing room, let alone just thinking about it."

There are no public appearances for promotions or autograph signings, things that have been a staple for Dafoe since he was traded to Boston from Los Angeles. Dafoe said it's not considered taboo exactly, but he believes it's better to stay out of the public eye during the time he is in limbo, a man without a team.

Dafoe knows enough to know that Tallas and rookie John Grahame are holding the fort as best they can, but the problem lies in defensive breakdowns and anemic offensive output.

"Obviously the guys are trying hard, they're working hard, they just seem to keep coming up short," said Dafoe. "The pressure is building, I'm sure. It's not a fun situation to be in. I was part of losing streaks last year and they're not a lot of fun, especially when you're searching for that elusive first win of the season. The thing that is tough is they've been so close whether it be up in a game going into the third or up in the third and not being able to hang on. It's very frustrating, I'm sure."

Dafoe estimates he's lost $250,000 in income since he took his stand to remain out of the lineup rather than play for the Bruins' offer of $3 million per year.

He actually thought that he would have a deal on Tuesday, the day the Bruins were scheduled to leave for the six-game road trip. Dafoe and his agent, Ron Salcer contacted the club and said he would agree to play for the Bruins' latest offer of $2.9 million, $3.15 million and $3.3 million, for a total of $9.45 million.

In addition, the club offered playoff bonuses and bonuses culled from the contract of Dafoe's close friend Olaf Kolzig, the starting goalie in Washington.

"The bonuses were for major awards and (being in the) top three save percentage (leaders)," said Dafoe. "They're not really major bonuses there. I agreed to that Tuesday. I added in games played, wins, goals against and shutout bonuses and I bumped up whatever the bonuses were so I could get myself up to the high $3 million range if I had a very good year. Those were negotiable, obviously, but they just said the offer was denied."

In addition to saying "forget it," the Bruins also pulled the offer from the table and told Dafoe if he wants a contract, he'll have to agree to the figure, first offered in June, of $3 million with limited bonuses. Dafoe was steamed.

"It's absolutely ridiculous," he said. "They're just being absolutely stupid about this thing. They're acting like they're 6-0, like, 'Hey, we don't need you.' Well, I beg to differ. To go back on an offer at this point, I don't understand that. To be that close ...

It's widely believed that part of the reason the Bruins are playing such hardball is because they will have many free agents in Group II situations next summer -- Jason Allison, Joe Thornton and Sergei Samsonov just for starters -- and that president/general manager Harry Sinden wants to set a precedent with Dafoe in order to send a message to those players. In addition, the Bruins have never made a secret of their commitment to keeping costs at a certain figure. They want to win but remain profitable at the same time, and Sinden's view is that if he gives in to players, the profit margin will continue to erode.

Dafoe said he's well aware of all of that but doesn't understand why they can't reach a happy medium.

"I've already agreed to their base," he said. "Now it's a matter of a few hundred thousand dollars in bonuses where I have to actually perform at a high level, that they should be happy to pay me I would think, but I've already come to their actual offer now. For them to haggle over bonuses or not even haggle ... they flat-out said no, of course, and pulled the offer off the table. For that small amount of money, to jeopardize an entire playoff year with the amount of money (they stand) to lose if they don't make the playoffs, that's ridiculous.

"I've heard that -- be competitive but don't be at the top, that's how you make money. There's a lot of money to be lost if they don't make the playoffs. You don't want to shoot yourself in the foot. Right now, the playoff picture doesn't look that good."

He said if management is hoping he feels guilty enough to come back, based on the Bruins' horrid start, it won't work.

"It's a brutal trip, it really is," said Dafoe. "Maybe this is their philosophy with me, maybe they're thinking, 'How many wins would we get with Byron in there.' I feel badly for the guys and for (coach Pat Burns). They know the battle I'm fighting, and I'm fighting for half of them because they'll be going through it next year."

Dafoe said part of his frustration stems from the fact he was initially demanding $4 million a year and has dropped down from his bottom-line figure of $3.5 million. He said he was more than willing to agree to the $3.15 million average per year if the Bruins would sweeten the pot with bonuses. No dice.

"The bottom line is, I want to play so bad especially seeing the way the team is going. I want to get back there and try to help, but the Bruins have to show something -- that they want to win. By them going backwards on their offer, all that does is piss me off more and show me that they don't.

Dafoe, a finalist for the Vezina Trophy as the league's top goalie last season, said he's wondering lately what he has done to deserve this sort of treatment from the Bruins' management.

"I guess I'm getting smacked for having a good season last year," he said. "The Bruins know they have six or seven big guys up next year and if they can do it to Byron Dafoe, they sure as heck can do it to anyone else. I think they're trying to send a message. If they think being 0-4-2 serves their purpose, then I guess that's fine. If I were managing a team that was 0-4-2 and our goaltending was out, I'd try to get him back in."

Until something changes, every day is Groundhog Day. Over and over and over again.

Nancy Marrapese-Burrell of the Boston Globe writes a weekly national NHL column that appears on Fridays.