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Real or not? The absolute craziest, strangest, saddest night of the season

To recap: The greatest slide ever, Eric Thames homers again, a cycle, King Felix might have a dead arm and the Astros might have the best pitcher in baseball. Did anything else happen Tuesday? (I mean, besides future Hall of Famer Cody Bellinger making his major league debut?) Clayton Kershaw started, and it was like the 10th-best story of the day.

What was the story of the day?

Dallas Keuchel is back, everyone: Let's start here.

That tweet doesn't tell the whole story in a game that featured a little bit of everything, including a scary collision in the outfield between Jose Altuve and Teoscar Hernandez. The great thing about Keuchel's complete game is that A.J. Hinch left him in, even after Keuchel gave up a leadoff homer in the ninth to Michael Brantley. Hinch left him with the tying run at the plate and Keuchel closing in on 110 pitches.

Keuchel responded by striking out Jason Kipnis and retiring Brandon Guyer on a hard grounder that Carlos Correa fielded on a diving stop and throw. While Keuchel's 1.22 ERA is a sign that he's throwing again like he did in 2015, these side-by-side heat maps verify what we're seeing in the results:

What was the knock against the Astros before the season? They don't have an ace. It looks like they have an ace, which is a scary thought for the rest of the AL West.

As for the collision, Hernandez, just up from the minors with a couple of outfielders banged up, had entered as a defensive replacement for Carlos Beltran. Both players left the game, with Hernandez carted off. Altuve said after the game that he expects to play Wednesday, and Hernandez told reporters he'll be ready in a couple of days, although he was apparently limping around pretty good with a knee bruise.

Plays of the day: Keuchel did get help from Josh Reddick, playing center in place of George Springer, who was resting a little hamstring injury:

Then there was this crazy batted ball in Baltimore:

But the play of the day, maybe the play of the year, maybe the play of forever, was this ridiculous somersault slide by Chris Coghlan of the Blue Jays:

Some called it the greatest play ever. I can't buy that. I mean ... I will admit that I've never seen a slide quite like this one, but it's not even the greatest play ever at home plate, or even the greatest in Blue Jays history. That belongs to Buck Martinez. This is not up for argument, and, yes, I'm going to absolutely use this as an excuse to run this video:

To recap: Jesse Barfield throws out Phil Bradley at home plate and Martinez breaks his leg. Gorman Thomas, who got the base hit, keeps running and is headed toward third. Martinez, who can't get up, throws the ball, but wildly. Thomas heads home, Martinez -- WHO CAN'T GET UP BECAUSE HE HAS A BROKEN LEG -- receives the throw and tags out Thomas. With apologies to Coghlan, I give the edge to Buck. Maybe if Coghlan had broken his leg on the slide.

Felix Hernandez has a "dead arm:" Excuse me while I go grab a tissue, I think it's a little dusty in here. The Tigers pounded the Mariners 19-9 in a game that featured 40 hits. With apologies to the Tigers -- I keep handing out apologies! -- the story of this game was King Felix, who lasted just two innings in the third-shortest outing of his career and left with a stiff shoulder, or what manager Scott Servais referred to as a dead arm.

Hernandez will get checked by doctors. That wasn't all the bad news for the Mariners. Mitch Haniger, who began the day tied with Mike Trout for the MLB lead in WAR, stretched his streak of consecutive games reaching base to 25, going 2-for-2 to raise his average to .338 ... and then left the game with an oblique injury suffered diving back to first.

Dark days in Seattle, dark days.

Trea Turner hits for the cycle: We've had two cycles in 2017 -- Wil Myers had the other. Both came at Coors Field. Some people love cycles. Maybe this is your story of the day. I'm more impressed with Turner's seven RBIs. The Nationals beat the Rockies 15-12 in a Coors Field special.

Tweet of the day: I can't ignore this:

Quick thoughts: Remember when the Dodgers had too many outfielders? Bellinger became the ninth player to start out there already for the Dodgers -- this after using 15 outfielders last season. Is this depth or is this a team without a coherent plan? While Bellinger was tearing up Triple-A, he does have a long swing, and I'm not sure he's going to being an impact player right away. Of course, this might just be a temporary stint in the majors until they get some of the other guys back. ... Brandon Crawford left this game with an apparent groin injury. ... The Blue Jays beat the Cardinals 6-5 in 10 innings in The Chris Coghlan Game, with Marcus Stroman delivering a pinch-hit double and scoring the winning run. ... With Matt Carpenter serving a one-game suspension for bumping an umpire, Matt Adams started at first base, but Jose Martinez, an outfielder by trade, came in later and made two misplays on throws with poor footwork, including the play that allowed Stroman to score. He wasn't charged with the errors, but his lack of experience cost the Cardinals. ... The Cubs win 1-0 with two hits and an unearned run. ... Mike Trout hits the first extra-inning home run of his career. ... Oh, and Kershaw was pretty good. One run in seven innings as the Dodgers won 2-1. Some things in baseball we can predict.