Match abandoned! Nothing left to see here. The umpires have pulled the plug and a very soggy day is heading down the gurgler...

Eccles: "Hales for Man of the Match then? With YJB close behind?" That square-drive wins it for me. What scenes!

Right, precisely nothing to add to what has been an unremarkable afternoon. So thanks for tuning in, see you all on Sunday for the third ODI at Bristol!

4.11pm Oliver Jones: "Weather update from Camberley. After some pretty heavy weather, it's brightening up, and I've just turned off the lamp which I was using to work. Reckon they might pull off the covers here within the hour (if the game was going on down here...)* *Apologies, I appear to have lost it!" Not sure you ever had it, Oliver old fruit ...

4.04pm Another update of dispiriting proportions. Haseeb Hameed has suffered a broken finger while batting for Lancashire against Middlesex. That could be his Ashes hopes up in smoke ...

montz hew: "dosent take 3 months for a broken finger to heal so hameed might make it" It did last time!

Edwin DSouza: "Regarding the Ashes party - why hasn't Collingwood been mooted? He's in the form of his life, vastly experienced with two Ashes tours behind him, fantastic fielder (still), a team man, and his dibbly-dobblers would be useful. Granted a short-term solution, but winning the Ashes is the only thing that counts...." Funnily enough, he's already on the plane. He's going as one of the England coaching staff ... we might yet see him in the covers at Brisbane, a la Trevor Penney in 2005...

3.58pm Hello again, Miller lurking for the foreseeable. Alan had lost the will to live needed a coffee. And I come armed with an update from Gnasher. "It's properly [expletiving] down." Oh yay.

3.40pm: Right, it sounds as if the rain is still falling steadily at Trent Bridge, so I'll suggest you go and do something constructive like file your tax return or pop over to the county blog. Remember, the cut-off for a 20-over game is 5.56pm, so still a couple of hours away. But the prospects are dwindling for as long as the showers persist. More updates as we get them and, to pass the time, a video that sort of represents what commentating on a rain delay is like.

3.20pm: Stand down everyone: "Raining again," says Gnasher. "Mizzly drizzle." Who wasn't a Beano character...

Here's Chas Stewart: "Please not Finn, again. He has the odd purple day - such as today - but they are all too rare on the international scene. And he can't bat. Toblerone is by far the better option, if he is fit."

"Why is no one considering Porter? He has had an outstanding season. Better to take players in form rather than reputation!" He's been mentioned, Nikhil Vaswani, though I reckon he's behind Ball and Wood, as well as Anderson, Broad, Woakes and TRJ. Good bet for a five-for on debut in a damp May Test against Ireland in 2019, though...

3.10pm: We're creeping closer to some genuine good news from Trent Bridge. "Groundstaff into action," reports Gnasher. "The blotter doing its work."

"Just when I headed over to the county to see some action, Lancs were all out," chirps Nishant. "Happy for Finn though, for his 8 wicket haul. Wonder will this be enough for him to get selected for the Ashes?" He'd slipped off the radar a little this season... but Finn's a moreish sort of England cricketer, as Super Hans would doubtless put it

"Sorry chaps, but, entertaining though the banter is, I want my cricket fix! Heading over to watch India v Australia, and hoping India can defend 252." We'll forgive you, James. Nicely poised, that one

3.05pm: "Is Steven Finn's 7 for 79 enough to get him on the plane for Australia? Or does he need to take the 8th wicket and win the match to get on that plane?" Well, Edmund, funny you should say that, because he's only gone and done it...

"Any signs of the umpires, Alan? What's the chance of seeing Bailey whizz out to the middle?" Very good, Moose. You can have a banana, man

3pm: Gnasher again: "Certainly the rain much lighter now. Some puddles on the outfield, though. The drainage will need to get to work on them"

2.55pm: By the way, if it's drama you're after, head over to Lord's (digitally, if not physically) - Lancashire are nine down needing another 38 to beat Middlesex, with Haseeb Hameed walking out (having retired hurt following a blow on the hand earlier). Middlesex desperately want to win this one, with relegation a very real possibility for the 2016 champions...

"Passing the time waiting for play to resume by watching the highlights of the T20 the other day, it occurred to me that Chester Le Street sounds like someone who could have been playing for the West Indies, while Chadwick Walton could just as easily be a village in rural Cheshire," observes Chris Crighton. "So I googled West Indian Cricketers who sound like villages, and chanced upon these gems... Minutes of fun guaranteed." Magnificent. And everyone loves a Sporcle

2.50pm: We have another update from Gnasher: "Still raining, but dare I say it looks marginally brighter (could just be the floodlights reflecting off the standing water on the covers, though!)"

Ben is less optimistic, however: "Student in Nottingham here. No chance of any play for the next two hours, it's bucketing down and a bit of a minor miracle that they ever got underway!" Given it's only mid-afternoon, I'm surprised student Ben is out of bed, never mind having drawn the curtains

"Whilst Googling Les Pretend (way after my time), I see that there was a character called Jonah too," chuckles Owlhelm."So McGlashan gets in twice!"

2.30pm: Some non-playing player news, from Gnasher: Latest on Gayle: He will be heading for a scan at 2.45. When you're 38 and run like Chris Gayle, tight hamstrings are the last you thing you need. Hopefully he's had some birthday cake, to ease his pain.

"Les Pretend these awful puns aren't happening, shall we?" guffaws Alex Chapman

2.25pm: It's raining, we're snoring... Here's Owlhelm, to liven things up: "Ok, I'll start the Beano puns. If someone is given lbw are they a Little Plum?" That's dodgier than Roger

2.10pm: Some more info, courtesy of Gnasher: "5.56pm is the cut-off to resume to get a 20-over match. Still steady rain at the moment."

2.05pm: The noise at Eden Gardens is quite something... Australia have lost both openers and I think the crowd are enjoying themselves. The noise at Trent Bridge, meanwhile, something closer to "pitter-patter, pitter-patter" (say it in your head as if Alan Partridge was reading it for an audio book). No news is no news, folks.

Here's giant statistical brain a jar, Bala: "Since only 4% of the overs have been bowled, England would get a small uptick (maybe a handful of runs). D/L/S assumes an end-of-innings run rate of 6 as par; that is the basis on which their tables are generated."

"Now then, surely attention must be turned to Brisbane and the first Test and how England's front-foot lungers might cope against a barrage of fast bowling," muses David. "Hales and pace was a comic experiment that ought not have happened; could history repeat itself this winter?" I actually used to quite like Hale and Pace. Although I was around 10 at the time...

1.50pm: Sky have now given up on this game and gone back over to Kolkata, which is probably a sensible move. "Steady rain now," says a doleful Gnasher, from Trent Bridge.

Here's Karl: "So England started the innings technically thinking it's a 50 over game, so if it's now shorter than 50 overs does that mean that the England score gets a bit of a boost at the end? And with it being a run rate of about 10 an over, does that mean its a bigger boost? I get very confused by D/L/S." Don't we all... Yes, if it comes down to a 20-over game, I think England's will get a little tickle. Though I don't know if their current run rate of 9.00 affects it either way

"Finally! after many attempts (last 5 years) you found my feedback worth posting," whoops khalid teli. "Thanks! Can't wait for umpires to decide the match actually starts at 5:30 pm and it is a T20 game. I am right now studying at Library (not really, watching cricket), I will straight away come running to ground and watch full game." Pretending to study at the library while really following the cricket... Straight out of the Bash Street Kids' playbook

1.40pm: Hello, kiddles. It's looking thoroughly miserable out the back of the Sky box at Trent Bridge. So we'll have to keep bobbing along, dredging up Beano references as we go... By the way, I'm disappointed no one has yet followed my suggestion to petition parliament about Gnasher's watery trail of rain-affected matches.

James, however, is willing to give him the benefit of the doubt: "Much as I'd like to believe otherwise, it isn't entirely Gnasher's fault that it's raining (mostly, but not entirely). Whichever idiot at the ECB decided it was a good idea to hold an ODI series in mid-late September in England bears a lot of the blame. Probably the same idiot that thought Test matches in May were a good idea." To be fair, the whole concept of cricket in the English summer often seems a bit of a fool's errand...

1.26pm khalid teli: "it is quite obvious from the weather forecast that it won't be possible to start match before 5:30 pm. Why don't they just announce it and ask players to get ready for T20 match. makes sense? Of course ,YES!" You've got a point. But that would be far too logical.

Kieran: "I had to do a Google search to see what an Abyssinian Wire-Haired Tripe Hound looked like, but I now get the reference. Colour me impressed." You see what I did there?

Anyone, in the meantime, here's Walter the Softie Alan Gardner to take up the rain watch.

1.22pm Sam: "Gnasher at the ground? I though he was unanimously banned after his jinx on the last game?" He was ... but like a stray Abyssinian Wire-Haired Tripe Hound, he hasn't yet returned from his wanderings Up North. Fear not, he'll be chained to his desk henceforth.

"More of the square now being covered," adds Gnasher, as if on cue

1.10pm "Gough's brolly back up #brollywatch," says Gnasher. This sounds ominous. And yep, the rain has returned. Phooey. "Heavier this time..." Yeah, thanks for that. Humbug

1.07pm It will be a 1.15pm restart. That means one thing, and one thing only. Time for a brew.

12.59pm Covers coming off! We have progress ...

Mike: "Sorry to say but another "thin band of nastiness" has just reached us on the Somerset/Wiltshire border - heading your way I would guess." Pah.

12.54pm Here's Gnasher: "Not heavy at the moment. Groundstaff just waiting before bringing on even more covers. Michael Gough, the fourth umpire, has taken his brolly down." Scenes

12.48pm SYED bilal : "Ok, I was watching INDVSAUS and it started to rain so the moment I changed the channel to watch ENG vs WI the rain starts here too! I'm blaffed right now:(" There's been remarkably little blaffing in India's innings, for a change...

12.42pm Rain stopped play. Bah. It's just got too damp for anyone's comfort. On come the covers, and this may be a lengthy interlude. Hopefully we'll get one sharp shower and that'll be it for the day. Rain-wise, that is. Not game-wise!

It's drizzling, I'm afraid

Nick: "Where is the commentary guys !? Too many adverts on the screen when I just want to see the score and the commentary - STOP playing around with it please !" Hello! We're down here!

Slip has moved to gully. Third man moving finer