Roll up, roll up, it's the Greatest Show on Earth! No, we're not talking about the ICC Men's ODI World Cup 2023 (That's Right, The 50-Over Version), to give the tournament its full, SEO-friendly name - rather the popcorn-munching spectacle of watching the BCCI try to sell tickets to the action.
The fact that we are still talking about ticketing almost two weeks in is your first clue that things haven't quite gone as envisaged when the ICC decided that India would host this edition of the World Cup (checks notes) almost a decade ago. Rather than just picking your fixture a few months in advance and handing over your hard-earned, somewhere along the way the process became akin to gaining entrance to Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory, only without the confectionery, songs or Oompa Loompas (probably a good thing).
Sure, when your target market is a billion strong, the logistics might be tricky. But an initial "seven-phase" sale was followed by another batch of 400,000 being whistled up from somewhere, then numerous pop-up announcements for extra tickets found down the back of a tuk-tuk seat - to the point where ordinary fans wanting to attend a specific match have had to become extremely online people just to get wind of a potential new lead.
The system now appears to be something that Erwin Schrödinger might have come up with: grounds can be both sold out and almost entirely empty at the same time. Once you throw in the various hurdles to do with collecting your ticket - maybe from the venue, maybe from the box office in town, maybe from Moon Base Alpha - and restrictions around what you can take in with you, it's no wonder that crowds have been sparse (even if the official attendance numbers look to have had a little nudge from Big Brother).
Before the tournament, the Light Roller joked that Indian fans might sack off games if their team's fortunes took a dip. In reality, many will have thrown the towel in long before that becomes remotely possible. They'll be taking the easier option, like going to see the Eras Tour or booking a table at Noma.
Still, it was good to see a packed stadium for the India vs Pakistan match - and they even let in a couple wearing green, which was thoroughly sporting. "If you build it, they will come," goes the old Field of Dreams saying, and after erecting the Narendra Modium to cradle the hopes and dreams of a nation, the BCCI seems to have taken the view of job done. Turns out, even in India, it might not be as simple as that.
****
You may have noticed an increase in the number of cricketers imitating footballers. Largely this is harmless stuff, like Mohammed Siraj doing Cristiano Ronaldo's "SIUUU" celebration or Jasprit Bumrah channelling Marcus Rashford. But during Pakistan's epic chase against Sri Lanka, Mohammad Rizwan took things up a notch - rolling around in between deliveries like he had just been on the receiving end of an old-fashioned reducer from Roy Keane. Rather than being sent to the sheds for simulation, however, Rizwan stayed on the field all the way to the end, after which he smilingly admitted: "It's sometimes cramp, sometimes acting." Which was somehow enough to redeem him from Machiavellian schemer to cheeky-chappy hero in an instant.
****
Tamim Iqbal isn't at the World Cup, which may or may not be what he wanted after his recent attempts to retire/quit the captaincy/hide behind the sofa until the BCB stopped calling his name. The veteran opener has been struggling with a back injury but there was no sympathy from the man who replaced him as captain, with Shakib Al Hasan calling him "childish" and "not a team man" over reported demands around Tamim's availability. (Imagine picking and choosing when to play for your country? Perish the thought!) But most chilling, at least as far as the Light Roller is concerned, was this line: "A journalist can't really tell you that he will come to the office an hour before he wants to come to office. If you ask me personally, if I was the company CEO, I won't keep that employee." If and when Shakib eventually moves on to a post-match career in the media, we might have to start considering our options.