Tom Latham, this is your fault.
In polite society, which this somehow still is (so long as you don't turn on the news), we have the good sense not to talk about feet. That's what the internet and a locked door is for. Not live TV. But no. You had to go and say - actually wait, first you had to go and do what you did in Bengaluru, then you topped it by going and doing what you did in Pune, and then you say stuff like wanting to "stay where our feet are" as if that's meant to convey modesty and level-headedness? Do you know where New Zealand feet have been over the past week or so?
Suzie Bates' were supposed to be taking her into the team bus in Dubai but they just wouldn't stop dancing the monkey. Back and forth and back and forth she went, over a red carpet, with a T20 World Cup winner's medal around her neck and a lifetime's supply of joy on her face.
Peter Burling and Greg Dalton's were up on a podium in Barcelona lifting the America's Cup, a high-speed yachting competition that is 173 years old and has been dominated by New Zealand. They completed a three-peat, the 2024 win backing up those from 2017 and 2021, on a boat named and blessed by the Ngāti Whātua Ōrākei tribe.
Hayden Wilde's were pounding the gravel in Torremolinos, Spain, where he finished the World Triathlon Championship Series finale a minute ahead of his nearest rival. (Great Britain's Alex Yee won the title though, across the three legs.)
New Zealand feet were doing amazing things all over the world. But in India, they were breaking brand-new ground. It has been 4331 days since a visiting side has been able to come here and win a Test series. Steven Smith has tried. Ben Stokes has tried. AB de Villiers has tried. Kane Williamson has tried. And though some of them have had sporadic success, sustaining it proved to be too difficult.
Pune 2017, Hyderabad 2024, Delhi 2015 - all of these matches witnessed an extraordinary level of planning, effort, execution and a necessary amount of luck. Australia plucked a spinner from out of nowhere and were pleasantly surprised when he took as many wickets as R Ashwin and Ravindra Jadeja combined. England brought in two novices on a hunch that their high release points could cause problems. South Africa batted with otherworldly determination and even then the best they could ever hope for was a draw. This is the extent to which India - both its conditions and its team - push their oppositions.
In Bengaluru, they threatened to overturn 46 all out. In Pune, they polished off almost a third of their target at better than a run a ball. "We knew they'd come out hot, didn't realise they were going to come that hot," Latham said.
Coping with a game slipping through the fingers is hard, but if it happens at home, you just might have a chance. At least there aren't quite as many unknowns to deal with and there are potentially previous instances to draw from, going right back down to domestic and age-group cricket. Mitchell Santner couldn't have had too many reference points for what he had to do over these past few days because he's rarely had occasion to be a lead bowler at first-class level. His other teams have needed him so scarcely that he's bowled 30 overs or less in 23 of 34 matches - 12 of those 23 were stints of 15 overs or less - and he's actually gone three games without bowling at all.
And yet, there he somehow was, responsible for 13 of the 20 Indian wickets that fell. At one point on Saturday he had his name on every dismissal, doing a more than passable impression of Richard Hadlee in Brisbane 1985-86, when he picked up 15 for 123 and scarred Australia so deeply that the next time New Zealand travelled to the Gabba they were allotted the home dressing room. Danny Morrison even remembers John Bracewell having a laugh about it. "Oh, look at that. Superstition."
In 66 years of trying, New Zealand had won only two Tests in India. Now they have two in less than two weeks. There is almost nothing the equal of this achievement in their history. Even that win (2-1) over big brother, which they prize above all else, came against an Australian line-up that was rebuilding after the retirements of Dennis Lillee, Greg Chappell and Rod Marsh. This feels bigger. The only one of Hadlee's stature in this team was out injured and they beat a full-strength India.
Sanjay Manjrekar on the spinner's success as opposed to Ashwin and Jadeja's below-par showing
The first ever triple-century by a New Zealander brought the entire country together. Brendon McCullum had been batting for two days when the toll of going against his nature started to weigh him down. He began to play and miss against the third new ball. Then he left one. And a packed-to-the-rafters Basin Reserve roared with all its might. McCullum felt them. He was grateful for them. This feels bigger because they weren't here.
There is similar emotion attached to the Test Championship in 2021 - the Black Caps' first world title (unless you count the Champions Trophy in its ICC KnockOut avatar back in 2000). They got there after losing four of their first five matches but winning the next six back-to-back - one of them a cult classic, where again Santner, the fourth bowler that they turned to, picked up the final Pakistan wicket with less than five overs to stumps. From there, they went to the final and Southampton was no different to Wellington. Their key players - Williamson, Latham, Devon Conway, Ross Taylor, Tim Southee, Trent Boult, Kyle Jamieson, Neil Wagner - knew what to do and when they returned home they were whisked away on a week-long, nation-wide celebration. This feels bigger because the conditions were so different to what they're used to.
Plus, they had an iffy build-up, a captain having to accept that maybe he wasn't helping the team and their best source of runs stuck thousands of miles away from where he could be useful. Even just one of those hurdles tends to be too much when on tour. But perhaps that's where Latham and his foot stuff came in handy.
New Zealand stayed level, looked inward and they found a prodigy who hasn't got nearly as many chances as he could have because he's been in the shadow of greats. Will Young was outstanding in the second innings of the first Test when he stood up to Jasprit Bumrah. They were grateful to a wicketkeeper batter who made a call and a commitment to turn himself into an offspinner. Glenn Phillips bowled 68 overs in Sri Lanka and 37 overs in India. They have a contender for the next Fab Four. Rachin Ravindra could not have looked more at home despite playing against the best in the world. Their most famous benchwarmer has become a hard-hitting frontliner. Matt Henry is the one that needs to get injured now for someone else to get in the XI. And they're all led by a man who makes a fabulous flat white but he also does this one other thing.
"Tom Latham showed a lot of batters who don't trust their defence as much and are looking to play unorthodox shots, something to surprise the bowler and thereby try and survive," Sanjay Manjrekar said on ESPNcricinfo's Match Day after he made the seventh-highest score (86) by a visiting batter in the second innings in India over the last 12 years.
"He showed subtle skills. A couple of times, when he misread the length, he was still down the pitch, but didn't commit himself too much and waited and then with the turn played the ball on the off side. Now those are the subtle skills that were a given in the olden days. Now its hard hands and committing to a shot very early. Tom Latham showed that game along with how he went after Ashwin very early, lofted him down the pitch, played the sweep shot, excellent sort of calculated risk, but most importantly it was amazing that a Kiwi batter showed a lot of Indian batters the subtle skills [needed] to survive and get runs."
New Zealand benefited from the toss both times - when it did fall in their favour and when it didn't. That's luck bordering on destiny. Forty-six all out played a big part in India feeling like they had no choice but to take extreme measures, especially with WTC points at stake. The pitch in Pune was meant to play to their strength but what it did was reduce the gap between the two teams. And this week that was just tempting fate.