There was a New Zealand team that came to India and spent a week watching grass dry, but never quite quickly enough, in Greater Noida.
There was a New Zealand team that went to Sri Lanka next and lost 2-0, including one where they conceded 600 runs in the first innings and responded with 88 all out.
There was a New Zealand team that then came to India, with a new captain, and beat them 3-0.
It feels like the next line should say "pick out the statement which is false" and nine out of ten people would be leaning towards that last one. One of them was inside the dressing room.
"Look, incredible result, really," the head coach Gary Stead said. "I think there'd be not many pundits around the world [who] would say that you would go to India and win 3-0 and probably deep down I'm not sure if we even believed that it was possible ourselves to do this considering it's never been done in history before."
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Will Young should look into ASMR. He has the voice for it. Sometimes listening to it, the softness, the lilt, makes you forget to concentrate on important things, like when he talks about how he's managed to score the most crucial runs in the most crucial times that's helped New Zealand win three Tests in a series for the first time in their history.
"We were in India, and we were meant to play Afghanistan in Noida. Although the outfield was really wet, we could still train on that block and then we went to Sri Lanka and played two Test matches in Galle. There were really good nets there and I could train most days whether it was with Michael Bracewell who was on the drinks with me or Rangana Herath who was bowling to me a lot."
Sanjay Manjrekar says Young is a very earnest player
Young made 48 not out in the second innings in Bengaluru when Jasprit Bumrah was bowling with purpose and sometimes that purpose seems to almost border on asking people why they thought it was a good idea to be 22 yards away from him with only a slender stick of wood for protection. Devon Conway ended up stuck at his end and was taking body blows.
Young didn't have it easy either, and enjoyed not having to face Bumrah all that much in that opening spell, but when he did he seemed to have the time to get in behind the ball and when he wasn't able to, with all the seam movement still around, he was extremely careful not to follow it.
In Mumbai, he couldn't hide, and these were conditions he was less used to, with the ball ragging off the straight at nearly 100kph.
"I felt really prepared to be honest," Young said, "And coming to India to play cricket is always really exciting so I felt well prepared and just excited to give it a go. At times trust my defence and at times know when and where to look to score and thankfully it worked." To the extent he was hitting Ravindra Jadeja for straight sixes. "It was just a bit of a cat and mouse really. He had long-off for most of his spell and he brought mid-off up. I thought if I get the right length I might be able to give it a go."
Young faced 460 balls in this series, which was a 100 more than any of the Indian batters, and that takes on whole new meaning considering who he had to face and where he had to face them.
"[India] probably have a right to [play on a turning pitch] as well when you consider Jadeja and Ashwin with 800-odd Test wickets, 900-odd Test wickets, compared to our guys who possibly had 100 between them," Stead said. "So I mean, they play in these conditions, they're an experienced group. And I mean, for me, it's more possibly around our batting and how we combated that was possibly the difference in the series as well.
"We certainly talked a lot about [batting against spin] as a group over the last six Tests here and working out the method for each individual player around how they can best do that. So as I said earlier, though, it's a challenge. It's not easy to go away from your natural game. And I think when our players have been brought up on wickets that generally seam and bounce consistently and don't spin a lot, then it certainly is a real… I take my hats off to the players for the way they've gone about it and the way they've stuck to their guns."
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Sanjay Manjrekar hails Ajaz Patel for spinning New Zealand to victory in Mumbai
Tom Latham wanted to fire the first shot. But really, in India, it's more about being there at the last.
R Ashwin spoke about this during a highly absorbing series against England earlier this year at the end of a day where the opposition was 207 for 2 in 35 overs.
Ajaz Patel spoke about it during a highly absorbing battle with Rishabh Pant. These were his views at the end of the first innings in Mumbai, though they are a decent snapshot into what they wanted to do when they found themselves under the pump.
"Rishabh batted exceptionally," Ajaz said. "He's been phenomenal throughout this tour and he's kind of the player that likes to put pressure back on us regardless of the situation and so like I said earlier it's about keeping things simple, it's about controlling what you can control, if you put the ball in good areas and they play a good shot that's out of your control."
India's dominance at home is built on a similar bowling strategy. In Rajkot, they dragged England from that 207 for 2 in 35 overs to 319 all out simply because they kept bowling that good-length ball that could bring the surface and all its vagaries into play.
Mumbai's, for example, offered less turn in the mornings but "after lunch we started to see a little bit more turn and a bit more assistance so that's when that trust kind of paid off and then it was about keeping that consistency and keeping that going and making it as challenging as possible for batters and putting the ball in good areas for long periods," Ajaz said.
New Zealand clearly did not have the experience on paper but they were making moves like they did. They understood that good periods of play in India don't mean anything. Success here is contingent on mitigating the bad ones. Alastair Cook and Kevin Pietersen did in 2012 and history was made. Ajaz and Mitchell Santner did in 2024 and history was unmade. Seventy years of Black Caps struggle ended with this 3-0.
"We certainly knew in these conditions, naturally the way that India play, they are quite aggressive and tend to take the game on a little bit more and that's something we spoke about and something we tried to plan for," Latham said on Sunday. "As I said, until that last wicket fell I certainly didn't think it was over. We know India bat right the way down, even having Washington Sundar batting at the end.
"We knew that things could easily swing the other way, so we always talk about trying to stay in it. Things happened quickly here, and in these conditions and in the nature of the game, wickets tended to fall in clumps. We knew if we got one we could get a couple in a hurry, and we're pretty happy we got the job done."
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Sanjay Manjrekar on the all-round contributions for New Zealand in their 3-0 blanking of India
"Aaah, nope," Glenn Phillips said when asked about New Zealand's celebrations on Sunday. "That's just for the team and I'm going to leave it at that." It was the only question that he didn't engage with in ten-minute chat about the part that he played over the past three weeks, which took enough out of him that he tapped out of the bacchanalia fairly early. "I shut down. It was a long tour and I was a bit cooked but yeah, we had fun."
In the dying stages of the third Test, Phillips delivered an offspinner's dream to bowl Akash Deep. Now there was only one wicket standing between New Zealand and victory, and Phillips had the chance to take it and complete a Test-match hat-trick.
Where does that moment - and this whole tour - rank in the life of a man who seems to like picking things up - surfboards, bows and arrows, little red cricket balls and maybe eventually a pilot's licence - and becoming scary good at them?
"Pretty high," he said. "I wanted to bowl the same ball. Hit a good length, let the pitch do the work, but it was a bit full." Phillips' mind went back six months ago when he picked up a five-for against Australia and had two-in-two there as well. "I let [Alex] Carey off last time, in Wellington, bowled it wide. But at least I gave myself a chance [here]."
Phillips was typecast as a wicketkeeper when he was younger. "I hated it," he said, "but at 12-15 years old, there weren't too many kids who could catch. And in New Zealand if you're a wicketkeeper, that means you're not suited to be a bowler, you didn't have the strength. So I had to do a lot of work and it was only at the professional level that people really started noticing what I could do.
"Bowling is my favourite thing." He's not kidding. Phillips starts a lot of his training sessions with the ball in hand. He shifts to the bat only later. Of course that might simply be coincidence, because he's down at No. 7 for New Zealand. "And I saw there were spaces in the team for someone that does that kind of role. So I kept at it. Some of it is natural, based on what I think my body can handle. I've seen that sometimes my bowling falls away when there's too much coaching input so I check in with them and then put my own spin on things."
Phillips bowled 69 overs across the three Tests in India. Eight short of Ajaz. He picked up eight wickets. One fewer than Ashwin.
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The NZ captain on their historic series win in Pune against India
New Zealand admit they had a huge helping of luck securing this 3-0. "I think losing the toss in the first test match definitely helped us," Stead said referring to the Bengaluru Test where they wanted to bat first too. "We got a jump in the game there and then I think that grew confidence in the group and we played very, very good cricket after that."
Every box that needs to be ticked for a win away from home was. Their top-order batters were stubborn - Daryl Mitchell kept batting even though bits of him were melting away in the Mumbai sun. Their spinners asked questions of India even when they were defending - 29 for 5 happened even as India thought they were playing safe shots.
And most importantly, "we wanted to make sure we showed the right attitude, whether we were on top or we were behind," Phillips said. "No one wants to drop their levels but sometimes when you're down that's where it shows and we, like if someone came to the ground and they couldn't see the score, we wanted them to see us buzzing around, we wanted to keep giving to the team."
A little while after both teams had shaken hands Conway and Rachin Ravindra stepped out from the revelry to try and nick the last two stumps that were left standing. But just as they were about to make another raid on Indian soil they were stopped by some technicians. These stumps were rigged with the mics so they couldn't have them. It was maybe the only time on this tour that New Zealand didn't get what they wanted.