There's many reasons why you're sat reading about the West Indies vs England T20I, and Phil Salt was out there playing it.
Talent, for one. Desire, another. And that's before we mention ability, the coach at Under-13s who didn't back you and that knee injury you had at 16. You could have made it.
But one of the main reasons is because on Thursday, Salt was invited to a party with Rihanna and turned it down in favour of an early night. You choose to have five beers on a Friday with your mate who works in finance and says "inflation" every other word, Salt chooses not to hang out with one of the world's most successful and talented mega stars even with 48 hours to spare to pop a Berocca or two.
"Rihanna's parties can wait," Salt joked after the game.
It is, objectively, the wrong decision and one might think less of Salt as a result. When the new era of player welfare came in, where they were asked to prioritise themselves as much as the game, this is what they were talking about. Going to parties with pop stars. Not golf.
But he did score a century. So there's that.
On a genuinely wonderful evening at Kensington Oval, Salt, who spent part of his childhood here, registered his third hundred in five matches against West Indies, while Jacob Bethell, for whom Barbados is home, registered his maiden T20I fifty in front of a crowd that appeared to be 90% friends and family.
The Bajan boys did the business for England. Both of them played their cricket for Harrison College down the road, a school where Bethell was a pupil, while Salt was a loanee, attending a nearby private school but being released on daycare to play cricket.
Salt himself described Kensington Oval as the ground he has watched the most cricket at through his youth. The tale of him watching Paul Collingwood carry the T20 trophy past him in 2010 is well trodden for a reason. This place means something to him and when he reached three figures, the outpouring of emotion spoke to that.
"I don't get very emotional on the cricket field," he said afterwards. "But that's as close as I've come I think for so many reasons. That's number one for me."
A lifelong Manchester City fan, Salt added, "It's something you can't really put into words without wanting to sound too cheesy. That's what you dream of as a kid. That is the cricket equivalent of the 30-yard screamer at Maine Road in the 89th minute."
Barbados is a small place. As of 2023, the population stood at 282,000. So when one of their own takes to the field people know about it. Salt has played here for England many times, but for Bethell it was a first.
His school coach, Corey Edwards, a former Barbadian seamer, said he knew Bethell was destined for the top from the beginning. While Barry Wilkinson, a local commentator, remembered Bethell from when he was three years old and described watching him walk out at Kensington Oval as the closest thing to "watching his son" do the same. Whether he would play at this ground as an international cricketer seems of less debate than who it would be for. Wilkinson always thought it would be for West Indies, Edwards wasn't so sure.
Regardless, the locals supported both as their own. Mainly because they are.
"There was a turning point in the chase where we could both sort of feel the crowd had turned and were now supporting us," Salt said of their partnership.
"Is that his old school?" Salt asked, looking over to a throng of supporters still in the stands supporting their friend. "Good on him, I love that. I'm more pleased for him than I am myself right now, seeing that. There's a lot of happy people with smiling faces there, it was Beth's first 50 on this ground."
For Salt, his innings added to his incredible record against West Indies. In his last five matches against them, he has made three centuries and scored 456 runs at an average of 228 with a strike rate of 193.
The three centuries represent his only in T20I cricket and one of the two innings where he didn't reach three figures was an 87 not out in the World Cup. On the surface, asking Salt what the secret sauce against these lot appears to be a dull question, it is surely a coincidence, but it is one he has wondered himself.
"The secret is there is no secret," he said. "I had a look into it to see if there is anything I could take in other places in different conditions and there really wasn't that much. It just seems to be that I've played a bit better here, that's it."
On paper, it was a routine victory for England. But everywhere you looked across the evening there was entertainment to hand. Andre Russell launching Liam Livingstone onto the roof and out of the stadium before being caught next ball. Jos Buttler snaring a one-handed catch at slip before being caught even more preposterously by Gudakesh Motie at third for a golden duck. Motie himself walking out at 117 for 8 and blazing his first two balls for sixes. It was full throttle, played out in front of an invested, passionate crowd that was evenly split between tourists and locals. If there is a way to watch cricket that is better than a T20 on a Saturday night in Bridgetown, I'm yet to see it.
But even after all that, you'd think you'd still rather party with Rihanna on a Thursday.