Cricketers (and cricket journalists) are just big kids. That much has been clear over the last week in New Zealand.
If you have been in Christchurch in and around the first Test, you will have been all too aware of an uptick in e-scooter use. Introduced in 2018, they hit top speeds of 27kph (16.7mph in "old money" as Beefy Botham used to say) have a maximum range of 48km (29.7 miles, move on!). Both have been tested robustly by the English.
All novices, of course. All now aware that you really can test a Kiwi's patience. To the bloke I almost took out leaving the gorgeous Riverside Market in the centre of town, I really am sorry. And I probably should have said that at the time rather than accidentally kick-flipping off the curb and accelerating away.
England's Test squad has been particularly enamoured with them, traveling in on the morning of each day's play at Hagley Oval. The more sensible (boring) ones took the usual minibus.
Bus
— England's Barmy Army (@TheBarmyArmy) November 28, 2024
Taxis
Electric scooters
The @englandcricket team arriving at the Hagley Oval in style
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On the third morning, a few punters on their walk towards the ground noticed two particularly enthusiastic sets of England training stash flashing past them, challenging the brakes at the red lights of the many intersections leading up to Hagley Park.
They were, in fact, Harry Brook and Brydon Carse - e-scooter enthusiasts turned heroes of the first Test. Were they running late? Who can say. Brook turned an overnight 132 into 171, Carse blasted an unbeaten 33 with three sixes, then took 6 for 42 for 10 wickets in the match and a Player-of-the-Match award.
Brendon McCullum's "run towards the danger" mantra was probably not meant for two wheels, though you can't rule that out. Speed in the streets equated to dynamism at the crease.
After England sealed victory on Sunday afternoon, they took time out to sign autographs and pose for selfies for local kids. It was a lovely touch - something they had done throughout the match when fielding on the boundary. However, behind the pavilion, they were indulging in a cardinal sin.
One of the deal with e-scooters is they are dockless, meaning they can be left in the open when you're done with them so someone else can jump on and be on their way. England, however, were reserving a whole fleet for their return journeys to the Novotel Hotel. A few people were shooed away and told in very clear terms that these were reserved for the team.
It's one thing to skewer the Kiwi public's feel-good factor after that historic success in India. But taking their e-scooters too? Now that is too far.
To be honest, you couldn't hold any of that against England. Victory on the afternoon of day three created some free time to check out the sights. A quick visit to Hanmer Springs, a resort town about a two-hour drive north of Christchurch came on what would have been day five.
Hanmer Springs is known for mountain ranges - Conical Hill and Heritage Forest - and thermal pools. No prizes for guessing which one was sacked off after 45 minutes for the other.
As everyone scattered on Tuesday - England left at mid-day for the 45-minute trip to Wellington - a trio of us (including BBC Sport's Stephan Shemilt and freelancer Cameron Ponsonby who is no stranger to these pages) decided to take the ferry.
That involved driving up to the tip of the north Island - like, dead straight, to the point where the time between turns was about four hours, but for a stop off in Kaikōura for lunch and to wave at a few seals. Then it was onto Picton, the gateway to the islands - and now the home of legendary Black Cap and free-spirited commentator Jeremy Coney - to catch our vessel.
Without a doubt, this was the highlight of the day. I get how ridiculous that sounds given it is only a commuter route. But as I type this while the ferry turns to dock into Wellington Bay, with just as many people staring into their phones as on the London Underground (me included) I've probably seen more spectacular sights on this ride than, well, ever.
The views are spectacular, and we certainly lucked out with a 6.30pm departure allowing us a couple of cracks at taking in the sunset. With all due respect to the bit above ground when you get the Hammersmith and City Line into the ESPNcricinfo UK offices, the Picton to Wellington route wins.