"Get ready for a broken …" This Australia team don't say things like that. But Nitish Kumar Reddy managed to get a rise out of their captain when he bailed out of facing the first ball of the 35th over on day one of the Adelaide Test.
Pat Cummins has spent this news cycle dealing with questions about the unity of his men and the way they play. He's been met with whispers of his own decline and insinuations that he takes defeat too easily. None of them seemed to wind him up as much as seeing a perfectly good ball go to such waste. He immediately went bouncer, at 143 kph, and Reddy, despite being ready this time, was barely able to duck for cover. The Adelaide Oval loved that.
India were finally in the Australia they would have expected before coming here. Loud. Demanding. Hostile. Frustrating. Stingy about rewarding good work and gleeful in punishing mistakes. Towards the end of the day's play, when Mohammed Siraj expressed his annoyance at having to expend more energy than he needed to for the same reason - a batter pulling away from his stance at the last moment, because of a fan running into his line of sight with a beer snake no less - he was told off by 50,186 people and then laughed at when he conceded a four off the next ball.
A lot of the talk leading into this game was about India's batters having to adjust to the pink ball, given how little they play this flavour of Test cricket. But it seems the bowlers had just as much to get used to. In a strange way, just like in Perth where they got a chance to bowl when the conditions were still helpful, a blessing in disguise if there is such a thing when you're all out for 150, Jasprit Bumrah and Siraj got to use the pink ball just as twilight was about to hit.
A lot of Australia's success in these games has been built on batting first, batting big, and sticking the opposition in during the final session (usually of day two) when the floodlilghts take effect and wield a strange power over the game. In 2022, they had West Indies 102 for 4 at stumps on day two after declaring their own innings close to the final session's play. Their fourth wicket had fallen at 428. In 2021, they took the fairly straightforward call to give up the runs their last two batters might have been able to add to their 479 in order to unleash Mitchell Starc at the England top order, and he delivered with a wicket in his second over, with Michael Neser backing him up before stumps. Australia had had 176 on the board before going two down. England had 12.
India would have been hoping for something similar; to leverage the twilight session to make their way back into the Adelaide Test. But it felt like they were getting too much movement and struggled to calibrate their lines and lengths to make it count. An under-fire Usman Khawaja and Nathan McSweeney were able to leave 18 of the first 30 deliveries they faced, and that trend continued. Australia didn't play at half the balls they faced in the first 20 overs. They had a better understanding of the bounce available off the pitch, which made India look like they were missing their marks.
"The lengths could have been slightly fuller to encourage more play," India assistant coach Ryan ten Doeschate said. "I thought Australia left very well as well. It seemed to be a trademark of the way they play, those two [McSweeney and Marnus Labuschagne, who have put on an unbroken 62 for the second wicket]. They left on length very well. We kind of feel the swing and the seam was a little bit inconsistent which makes it difficult for both parties."
India batted to a plan too. They discerned that the good-length ball contained the potential to cause the most problems, and looked to be proactive against anything either side of that. It was in the course of this that KL Rahul and Virat Kohli fell to balls they realised they could leave but not until it was too late. This may have been a mix of what happens in Australia and what happens with the pink ball.
"From Tests gone past, and probably no different today, there's times in a pink game where the ball can get soft and it's hard to score, hard to take wickets, a dead patch in the game," Starc said, "Then for whatever reason the ball starts to do a little bit more again."
India left for their hotel at the end of day one with a sense of what could have been. Another feeling well-known among away teams that come here. Shubman Gill missed a straight ball that he could have driven for four. Yashasvi Jaiswal wandered too far across his crease to be able to connect with a ball on leg stump. Rahul and Kohli were indecisive.
"Obviously to lose a wicket of the first ball, sort of sends jitters through the change room," ten Doeschate said, "But we recovered really well and [from] 69 for 1 we probably feel like we missed a chance there. I also feel that's the nature of the pink ball. Things can happen quickly. Things happen in clumps, we lost wickets in clumps which we wanted to avoid. There's lessons to be learned in that first innings and we'll go away and look how to play in the second innings."
Even their most eye-catching spell of play - when Harshit Rana seemed to get inside McSweeney's head by asking him to use the bat and when Bumrah found his usual control to beat Labuschagne's bat - didn't really amount to anything. They felt something might happen. It didn't.
"I don't think 86 for 1 is a true reflection of how we bowled," ten Doeschate said. "I thought there were a lot of played-and-misses. Obviously the edge [that we dropped in the seventh over]. I know the score looks like there's a big gap between the two teams but we still feel we're in the game and with a few tweaks tomorrow, if we bowl slightly better, we feel like we can get back in the game tomorrow."
India have loved being in Australia. They've had things to do at every turn, literally. The e-scooters available for rent on the streets were a huge hit with the team in Perth. There, at the end of every single day, they found themselves in a pinch-me-I'm-dreaming situation. After 77.1 overs in Adelaide, they've received a bit of a wake-up call.