Wiaan Mulder has spent the last four weeks doing something he really does not like: watching games of cricket he wanted to be playing in.
"I hate watching cricket," he said at Newlands, where he has been declared fit and available for selection for the second Test against Pakistan. "Especially when you're in a position where you feel like you're playing relatively nicely and you could have filled some gaps. It's a terrible place to be to watch the game, especially having such a weird injury like this. It's not like a muscular thing."
Mulder has been out for the last month with a broken finger after he was hit while batting against Sri Lanka quick Lahiru Kumara in the Durban Test in late November 2024.
He had to retire hurt at the time but returned to bat in the first innings, when South Africa desperately needed runs, and then again at No. 3 in the second. Then, with the fracture and extended break from the game confirmed, Mulder still wanted to try and impact the match. He asked to be sent up the order, to try and take some of the shine off the new ball, and then returned home for rehab and screen time.
He watched South Africa beat Sri Lanka in Gqeberha, win their first bilateral T20I series under Rob Walter against Pakistan, get white-washed for the first time at home in an ODI series by Pakistan and confirm their place in the World Test Championship (WTC) final with a nerve-shedding Boxing Day Test win. At least for the last of those, he was watching from as close as he could get: as the 12th man in the dugout, which only made him more desperate to get back into the XI especially as he had just cemented his spot.
Before the injury, Mulder had played five matches in a row and was on the most regular run he has had since making his debut in February 2019. South Africa have played 40 Tests since then but Mulder just 17 as both he and previous team management struggled to define his role in the side.
"I wanted to play for my country from when I was a little kid and when I got the chance, in my heart I wasn't always sure if I was good enough to consistently put in performances at this level," he said. "I don't think anyone really knows until you play and you actually do it."
His confidence in his own game grew when he saw an improvement in his batting, in particular. In 2022, Mulder played at Leicestershire and averaged over 40 and in the 2023-24 South African summer, he batted at No. 5 for the Lions and was the tournament's third leading run-scorer.
That form has carried across to the international stage. In the last five months, Mulder has scored his first Test half-century and hundred and averages 64.50. That number is inflated by three not-outs in seven innings but remains impressive nonetheless, especially when mentioned alongside his bowling returns.
Mulder has taken ten wickets in his last five Tests, six in Guyana and four in Mirpur, at an average of 18.20 and an economy rate of under three runs an over. Those things combined have convinced him that he can do a job for the national side.
"I've had a couple of seasons in England where I've put in match-winning performances. I've got a hundred now at international level. I've got a couple of important spells where I've taken wickets and I feel like I'm a key feature in the slips for this team," Mulder said. "There's a lot of good things that I can look back on and rely on when it's difficult out there to say that I'm actually worthy.
"I'm here to win a game for my country. I'm not just here to fill a spot. The word that's kind of been so hard for me over the years is potential and hearing that: 'you potentially could fill so many gaps, your potential is you can play all formats for the country.' Those are all nice things, but how I was going to get there has always been so frustrating for me."
In a country where fast bowlers come off a production line and there is again a growing number of seam-bowling allrounders, it's easy to understand why Mulder might always have been looking over his shoulder. Historically, he would have been up against the likes of Dwaine Pretorius or Andile Phehlukwayo and in the current squad, Marco Jansen and Corbin Bosch, who debuted at SuperSport Park, are similar kinds of players to Mulder.
Jansen is South Africa's leading wicket-taker this summer and offers the kind of pace and extra bounce that can't be replaced. Bosch, meanwhile took a four-for and scored an unbeaten 81 on debut so Mulder might again find it difficult to get his place back but the presence of competition in the squad doesn't scare Mulder.
"When I was younger, it would have affected me a lot more because you're desperate to be here but you're in a team like this, or maybe I'm at this place in my career now, where I don't want someone else to fail for me to get in," Mulder said. "No one deserves it more than somebody else.
"That culture is so important for this team. There's a lot of extra noise that everybody faces when you play international cricket, and if we start picking on each other and hoping each other fails, when it's crunch time, I don't think we will win big moments."
And Mulder watched South Africa in one of the biggest moments: when they were 99 for 8, chasing 148 at SuperSport Park. A 51-run ninth-wicket stand between Jansen and Kagiso Rabada sealed a two-wicket win and proved Mulder's point.
"To win moments like that and the characters that stood up there, you cherish that for the rest of your career," he said. "When you come under those crunch moments, having something to fall back on like that as a team is pretty much what we're about as South Africans in many ways.
"We never give up. We're always fighting. Sometimes we get punched to the floor and then you have to fight your way back. That's something that we're also trying to change in this team, is actually finding a way to throw the first punch."
South Africa have one more opportunity to do that before Lord's, starting on Thursday, when they take on Pakistan in the second Test. Mulder is unlikely to be watching, and will probably come into the team for Bosch, and could play a big part in finishing what has been a successful summer.