Between 2011 and 2021, Chinglensana Singh Kangujam played more than 200 matches for the India hockey team. He scored 28 goals, was vice-captain, part of two Asian Games medal campaigns including the gold-winning effort in 2014, and competed at the Rio Olympics. Along the way, he won an Arjuna Award in 2018 for his contributions to the sport. Chinglensana's dream was to win an Olympics medal with the Indian team - but when India finally won an Olympic medal in 2021 after 41 years, Chinglensana wasn't there.
Dropped from the team before the Tokyo Olympics, he quit the game immediately. Not just hung up his boots, Chinglensana refused to pick up the stick and even stopped watching hockey matches.
"I just left hockey. When I couldn't make it to the Tokyo squad, I left," Chinglensana, now 33, tells ESPN. "I never made an official announcement."
Yet his is a name that evokes memories even today, and especially in the context of the Hockey India League. He was a regular in its first iteration, playing in all five seasons from 2013 to 2017. It's one of the cruel ironies of sport, though, that when the HIL re-started, and Chinglensana was persuaded by friends to return to the game and put his name in the auction pool, there were no takers for the player who only a few years ago was the heartbeat of the Indian team's midfield.
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Chinglensana emerged from the low-profile Manipur hockey system but soon made his mark on the national and international stages. He made it to the national team in 2011 as a forward but subsequent head coaches saw him more as an efficient midfielder who could run all day. Neither a prolific goal-scorer nor a flashy dribbler - it's difficult to find highlights of Chinglensana's game on YouTube -- he was instead a midfielder with an exceptionally high work rate, which also became the defining feature of the national team since 2016.
Playing alongside the legendary Manpreet Singh, Chinglensana provided solidity in the centre of the pitch while being excellent with his pressing and tracking back. He played a vital role in improving the standards of the Indian men's hockey team post 2012, ultimately recognised in the form of the Arjuna Award.
President Kovind confers Arjuna Award 2019 upon Shri Chinglensana Singh Kangujam for his achievements in Hockey��
��Member of men's Hockey Team winning Gold Medal in Asia Cup, 2017
�� Member of men's Hockey Team winning Bronze Medal in Asian Games, 2018 pic.twitter.com/4vimFpIxd7- President of India (@rashtrapatibhvn) August 29, 2019
He suffered a double fracture on his ankle while playing the senior national domestic tournament in early 2019. The extent of the injury was discovered during the national team camp a few weeks later and a medical scan revealed that he would miss many months. He was out for a year, but he always believed that he would recover completely and play for several more years.
The COVID-19 pandemic gave him more time to rest and recuperate and he returned to the national setup in 2021 when India coach Graham Reid called him up for the Pro League matches, just before the Tokyo Olympics. He played a few matches but eventually, Reid opted to keep him out of the Tokyo squad.
"I was hoping that I would make the squad. When I didn't make it, I was like, what's the point of playing hockey now. I left it. I had a dream of playing at the Tokyo Olympics. The head coach (Graham Reid) called me after the announcement of the team. He wanted to have a conversation, but I didn't feel like going for it and I didn't," Chinglensana said.
The likely reason for him missing out could be fitness related. By 2021, Chinglensana had missed almost two years of hockey action. Maybe his game had taken a beating or maybe Reid felt the squad had fitter players or maybe he didn't just fit in with the structure anymore. But since then, he's has been trying to come to terms with his non-selection.
"In terms of regrets, yes. I couldn't make it to the team even though I felt my performances were decent. I had recovered from my ankle injury, but I couldn't make it," Chinglensana said, his voice tinged with sadness. "Life toh thik hai, but I was upset for a long time. I stopped following hockey for the next two-three years. I didn't pick up the hockey stick for three years, I was not in touch with my teammates."
Even though he didn't want to do anything with hockey, his old international teammates, namely SV Sunil and SK Uthappa, and coaches pushed him to get back to the game. After constantly talking to his childhood coach Romesh Kestrimayum, Chinglensana finally began his journey back to hockey.
"Now I'm slightly better. I realised that whatever little impact I made in my life, it's because of hockey. I was upset and sad, but I am now doing coaching for juniors in Manipur. I am also a selector for Hockey India, trying to identify talent from my state."
Chinglensana has also started playing hockey again. He represented his state in the recent senior nationals and put his name in for the HIL auction pool. Doubly cruel was that his friends Sunil and Uthappa were both picked by teams.
Currently, he is preparing his state team for the National Games, where he would also like to play. He got married a few months back and settled in Imphal. His priorities are set: he wants to bring out the best hockey talents from his state. "If you see other states, like Punjab, Haryana, Karnataka and compare it with Manipur, the sports facilities are much more developed. Our budgets and players are also low. We are talking about how to develop more interest in the sport in our state."
He's also constantly in touch with other international players from Manipur, like Nilakanta Sharma, Kothajit Singh and Rabichandra Singh Moirangthem. Chinglensana helped them when they were coming up the ranks and they still ask him for guidance. He wants to take the best inputs and give upcoming youngsters a good platform in the state.
This matters now more than ever given the violence in Manipur since May 2023. "It had a big impact on the newer generation. They want to go to the grounds, but they are closed. They want to go schools, but they are also closed. If everything is closed, how will the future generation take up anything? It becomes extremely difficult for them," he said.
But there are certain things he cannot forget. He still can't bring himself to watch hockey matches. He didn't see a single minute of India's triumphs at both Tokyo and Paris Olympics. "Sirf India games nahin, poora hockey dekhna chhod diya (Not just India matches, I don't watch hockey at all anymore.)
For Chinglensana, the wound has healed but it has left a permanent scar.