MIAMI -- Three days after Jose Fernandez's death, the Miami Marlins keep finding new sources for fresh tears. One such example was provided by catching coach Brian Schneider, whose 6-year-old son adored the late Marlins' ace and followed him around the ballpark like a puppy.
After Fernandez died in a boating accident over the weekend, Holden Schneider attended kindergarten Monday and wrote a story about his favorite major leaguer. When his dad circulated the image among the players in the Miami clubhouse, eyes welled on cue.
"My kids just gravitate to Jose,'' Schneider said. "After batting practice on Saturday, I didn't see Holden for a half-hour or 45 minutes. He was out there on the field with Jose. Here's this little boy who doesn't know any different, and everybody knew how much he looked up to Jose.
"Guys told me they were doing good, and then they read that, and they started to tear up. And when I read it, I teared up too.''
This is how life unfolds as the Marlins play out the season under the most trying of circumstances. They hold daily meetings to discuss changes in the schedule and ways to honor their late teammate amid suppressed appetites and restless nights of sleep. Meanwhile, the games go on as usual.
Monday night, Dee Gordon launched an improbable home run into the upper deck and the Marlins rode a wave of adrenaline to a 7-3 victory over the New York Mets. On Tuesday, the wave subsided in the face of Noah Syndergaard's pitching, and the Marlins lost 12-1 to the Mets.
On Wednesday, a public memorial for Fernandez will begin outside Marlins Park at 2 p.m. ET, and a funeral motorcade will leave from the park at 2:16 (in honor of Fernandez's uniform number). Fans will have an opportunity to pay their respects throughout the evening during a public viewing at St. Brendan's Catholic Church in Miami.
On Thursday, an open date in the schedule, Marlins players, coaches and front-office personnel will attend a private mass with Fernandez's family. The Marlins will then fly to Washington for a season-ending series against the Nationals.
The atmosphere at Marlins Park on Tuesday couldn't possibly have matched what took place in the series opener when Fernandez's teammates honored his memory with one touching gesture after another, and Gordon's early homer sent a surge through the air. The Miami hitters were overwhelmed Tuesday by Syndergaard, and Marlins starter Tom Koehler lasted a mere 3 2/3 innings while falling behind 4-1. The New York lineup piled on late against the Marlins' bullpen.
"I think everybody's doing the best they can,'' Koehler said. "We're not trained to handle anything like this. As professional athletes, we kind of get desensitized to a lot of things. We're able to go out and play regardless of the situation. But it's usually individual situations. One guy might be dealing with something on a normal night and the other 24 aren't. This hit everybody. So everybody deals with it in different ways.''
As manager Don Mattingly has routinely pointed out, the Marlins have no road map or historical precedent to navigate the nightmare they've encountered. The team has made grief counselors available for the players, but talking, venting and crying can only achieve so much.
The Marlins left the ballpark late Tuesday knowing they would be eliminated from postseason contention with a San Francisco Giants victory. At 78-79, Miami can post its first winning record since 2009 with wins in three of its next four games. But it's a challenge for Mattingly or anyone else in a Miami uniform to find perspective amid the heartache.
"Obviously, we see so much on television and what people are saying nationally,'' Mattingly said. "It's hard to get a feel when you're in the middle of it. You don't get to see where the waves and the ripples are going. We know what's coming the next few days, but I don't know if we know the full impact of it. As time gets away from us, I'm sure guys will look into it more, read more and see how far those ripples go.''