Swapna Barman has a back problem so severe that she can't climb stairs. She can't jump hurdles or do squats in training. In fact she can only do one training session a day. And yet on Saturday she fought through it all to win the heptathlon silver at the Asian Athletics in Bangkok.
Speaking to the press from the track after the end of the day's competition, she says there's no point in thinking about the future right now. "I don't have any long-term [planning]. The coming Asian Games may be the last I'm able to compete in - after that I don't know if I can, because my back's condition is very, very bad." Then a pause before she adds a "bahut zyaada."
"I can't do two practices a day now. I can't climb stairs... if I climb one stair, I must place one foot on it, then the other and then only I can climb the next. My injury is at this level now. I'm not able to jump hurdles nor do a squat [in training] for at least the past two and a half months. And everyone knows how important a squat is for every athlete," she says, laughing at the absurdity of it all.
But it's not all that absurd at all. Not when it comes to Swapna Barman. For this is what she does: battle through pain and when coming out on the other side, do so with a medal around her neck. She'd done it at the 2022 Federation Cup where she'd collapsed at the end of the 800m; and she'd done it when winning Asian Games gold in 2018 fighting excruciating toothache to create history. Born with six toes and never able to find a comfortable shoe growing up, she's been doing it all her life.
Why won't she just stop, though? "See it's like this - before dying we must do something and show. I don't want people to say 'she stopped because she's unable to do it, because she's losing to everyone'."
"It's not like that, I want to do something different before I leave, I want to do my best before I stop," she says.
In Bangkok, she struggled at moments, but she kept pushing even though she knew she wasn't doing what she's capable of at her best. "I'd tried to do every event as well as possible," she says. "But it was not happening. How much ever I pushed, it wasn't happening. So, I'm happy with what I've achieved here. If I expect more, it'll make my back even worse."
"Considering the practice I've put in, the points I have got here is okay. It's not good, it's not bad. theek hai, bas," she says. Her personal best is 6026 points.
She'd still done brilliantly to top the high jump - her pet event - but dismissed any thoughts of abandoning the physically punishing heptathlon for individual high jump. "I know I can get a medal in the nationals in high jump, but if I think of international competitions, I'll definitely not get a medal. Whatever I get will be in India only. So, I can't keep a focus or concentrate on just one event. "Isiliye hepta hi sahi hain [that's why the Heptathlon is fine]." And heptathlon continues to return that love. The Asian Athletics Championship had been her third event of the year; she'd earlier won a silver in an invitational event in Kazhakstan and then the gold in the Inter-State Championships last month.
Three events with a bad back, three medals. "There is a need for rehab now," she says. "So, once I get back from here, I'll do a lot of rehab - more than what I was doing till now. For many days now, I'm only practicing once a day, in the morning session... now I'll go and try make it two [morning and evening] and I'll try and get some treatment for my back." "My target is till the Asian Games [and defending her gold]," she says. "I'll try my best there - I'm thinking if I can or not, but I'll definitely try."