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Sakshi Malik's 'Witness' is a strong message to Indian women athletes: Be yourself, be independent

Sakshi Malik remains the only Indian woman to win a wrestling medal at the Olympics. Jack Guez/AFP

Sakshi Malik has made history on the wrestling mat - the first Indian woman athlete to win an Olympic medal, till today the only Indian woman wrestler to win an Olympic medal. She has made headlines off the mat too, taking on the very powerful system and, if not winning completely, at least forcing a change of guard. Yet her most impactful achievement, in a broader sense, might be through a most unexpected route: her memoirs.

The underlying theme through most of *Witness - a refreshingly, at times brutally honest read, rare for an Indian public figure - is her advocacy for everyday women's issues, that are rarely spoken about. From something as seemingly trivial as negative body image amid societal beauty standards, to the need for women (athletes and others) to be financially independent, Sakshi has written one of the boldest books - even the most "feminist" - by an Indian sportswoman.

It would have been easy for her to focus on the historic medal, her unique career, and her continued spearheading of the wrestling protests now. But for her to repeatedly highlight women's issues - especially in an astonishing chapter titled 'Body Talk (A Small Digression) - makes this book one of the most important in Indian sport. This is everyday feminism at its essence, not a technical definition but the basic truth that genders don't get equal treatment, so women have to first know and then fight for their daily rights.

Nothing is off limits when talking about these issues, not even the most intimate details of her family life. For a self-professed avoider of confrontations, she says this book was a great medium to share her thoughts with the world. One of her most important life lessons came after the Olympic medal win. Her family was refusing to let her marry her longtime partner, fellow wrestler Satyawart Kadian, and had gone through elaborate attempts to try and block it. She soon realised, though, that their objection was partly financially motivated; an assumption that all her post-Olympic windfall would go to her marital home. Sakshi, whose banking was handled by her family, later discovered that her accounts were cleared out of the post-Olympics rewards she'd received.

In a lengthy chat with ESPN, Sakshi reaffirmed her thinking. "They tell girls that they are anyway supposed to go to some other's [husband] house. And when they get to that some other's house, they are told that their house is the other one [parents']. So our financial security, our understanding... we need to have full knowledge of all it, we need to be independent."

To push to marry her partner was itself -- in the context of the extremely patriarchal society she lived in -- an act of bravery. No one in her circles had married for love and she did not want to malign her family reputation by going against their will. Eventually, she had to leak the news of her engagement to get her family's approval, because appearances matter.

It's a touching love story, almost Bollywood cinematic in its obstacles. But it's telling of the prevalent mindset in the majority of the country, where a woman's wealth and agency is not her own, even when she has won an Olympic medal.

She reveals the struggles and describes with honesty what it means to be a woman from Haryana, who has to consider the societal implications of simple actions like growing her hair out, talking to boys or wearing sleeveless clothing. Sakshi addresses her own naivete in these incidents candidly, intending it as both an indictment of the patriarchal society and a learning for young Indian women from her background. She has spoken about the imperceptible challenges of being a career sportswoman in a way no Indian athlete of her stature has before.

"I went all in on the wrestling during my career and never really paid attention to things like where's the money is going," she told ESPN. "I had a straight focus: I want to wrestle. You must have read in the book also that I had no interest in other things like roaming around, partying, functions... My focus was always wrestling, getting into the Olympics and winning a medal. I just want to say that while this is a good thing - focusing on achieving your goal - you also need to be aware side-by-side of all the other things."

She even revealed that most of her felicitation appearances were a mask with this familial turmoil in the background. All while adjusting to dresses, make-up and high heels she was made to wear to look well-groomed in front of the camera. Any woman can attest to this being daunting in itself for the first time, to do it as a woman raised in a wrestling academy of Haryana, there's an added layer of insecurity.

Incidentally, the one person who has pushed her to take charge of her finances early on was none other than Vinesh Phogat, who has been a compelling character in Sakshi's recollections.

"I wanted to talk about all this. I don't want other girls to go through what happened to me, what I faced after the Olympics because first a girl, secondly a sport like this... a girl's sporting career is very short, so we need to manage everything in it."

Lately, Sakshi has been in the news as one of the leaders of the wrestlers' protests against former WFI president Brij Bhushan Sharan Singh, a former MP from the BJP. He's been accused of sexual harassment of women wrestlers, and other administrational malpractice, and Sakshi has detailed the background and her role in the protests.

The most striking revelation is, without doubt, her unwavering detailing of the harassment she faced at the hands of Singh - a case which has finally been taken up in court after months of protests. That it had to be internalised, was an added shackle in her career and she has not shied away from any of the questions asked over.

"If I raised my voice, he'd never have let me reach this level. Me and everyone else kept quiet because we didn't have any other option," she says of the oft-asked "why now" question. (which in itself betrays the deep lack of understanding of gender dynamics that she has shed light in)

"Jab paani sar se upar chala jaata hain (when the water rises over your head), there comes a time when you must say something. We used to hear stories from our juniors and then we realised that we must raise our voices now. Our juniors won't because they will have the same fears that we did. We are financially secure, there's a strength to our voices now, people will listen. The sexual harassment in the federation can be stopped [by them] so we decided if we don't raise our voices no one will."

The fight, which she concedes is slow-moving, is still on, and she wants to see it to its conclusion.

She's even open to entering the administration, something she wasn't willing to before because it would subvert the purpose of the protests. She has the capability, and education - something she that gives her an edge because not many of her peers balanced academics.

Her inclination to improve the lives and careers of young women in the field, many of whom she trains at her father-in-law's academy, goes beyond wanting to give back to sport. With Sakshi, the advocacy goes deeper. Her description of body image issues, financial literacy, stereotyping of certain women's grooming, covert sexual harassment is applicable to every field in India, not just sports. Almost all women have dealt with this in some form.

Witness, such an aptly titled memoir, is Sakshi Malik's message to Indian sportswomen (and men) about things they should know but no one would tell them straight.

*Witness, by Sakshi Malik with Jonathan Selvaraj, is published by Juggernaut Books