The British No.1 is a multi-millionaire, he's got a beautiful wife, he's got fame and health and incredible talent. And, says the Irreverent View, he's got Novak Djokovic - an opponent who is just too good.
Miami. New York. Beijing. Paris. Melbourne. Indian Wells. Miami again. Paris again.
Some of the cities that were stiffed out of legit football World Cup bids for not allocating their resources into the correct wallets? No. They are the last eight venues in which Andy Murray and Novak Djokovic have played each other at tennis.
And Djokovic has won all of these last eight encounters, most recently their rain-interrupted semi-final at Roland Garros.
There were some people, hopeless optimists, who thought that going off for rain might actually help Andy to win. None of us who remember poor Tiger Tim Henman and his weather delay against Goran Ivanisevic held out too much hope. Come on - we are British, after all. How could we resist the irony of a boy from our grey little islands being done over by the weather?
As it turned out in Paris, Andy played absolutely fantastically when they got back on. For half a dozen games, the standard was freakishly good. Andy went from the thunderstorm hiatus score of 3-3 in the fourth to 7-5, playing as well as he has ever played. And he had his chances in the fifth, when Novak served on deuce in the first game, but the moment slipped away from Andy with a tame backhand into the net.
And that, as many times before, was that. Their head-to-head record is now 19-8 in Djokovic's favour
Andy Murray must be the unluckiest chap who ever lived.
He's been Britain's best tennis player since the days the sport (or a version of it, anyway) was contested at Hampton Court by men in codpieces who'd cut your head off if you returned their serve too often. He has been a sole beacon of absolute excellence in a British tennis system which has at times been little more than a charitable organisation to give wealthy no-hopers something to do after their gap years. He has been a Gulliver among the Lilliputians of British tennis.
He is a magnificent defender, one of the best the game has ever seen, he is creative, he has every shot, he has brains, he has heart, he has no significant weakness. He got an Olympic Gold in one of the most memorable sporting stories of our lifetimes, he has won the US Open, and he has won Wimbledon. A Brit winning Wimbledon: something British tennis fans literally thought we would never see.
He was just unlucky to be born in the greatest era of tennis, ever. To be born in the same time as one the best players of all-time could be a misfortune, but three? Yes, he has been the least of those four. But not a bad foursome to be part of.
"Murray's got fame and health and incredible talent. And he's got no luck at all" ESPN's Alan Tyers
Since the 2012 Wimbledon final loss and Olympics win, Andy has lost four and won two against Roger Federer; a losing record maybe, but he goes into matches with Roger at least fancying his chances.
With Rafael Nadal also not the player he was, Andy has managed to outlast both the Swiss artist and the Spanish Bull: Murray even beat Nadal in Spain on clay earlier this year. He would reasonably start as favourite against Nadal tomorrow on anything bar clay, despite a career record of six wins and 15 defeats against the Mallorca man.
That Wimbledon victory over Novak did not find the Serb at his best, and it feels more and more like it will not be repeated on a major stage, no matter what example Stan Wawrinka might have provided on Sunday. Against Djokovic, Murray is in the horrible position of knowing that his absolute best - as in the fourth set in their Paris semi - will not be good enough. There is no more unsettling feeling in sport.
19 defeats. Coincidentally, that's the number of times that Glenn McGrath got Mike Atherton out in Tests. Andy is on his way to being that level of bunny for Djokovic.
And, like Athers, it isn't for want of trying, or huge skill, or a lot of heart. It's just about coming up against somebody of consummate, otherworldly skill who just happens to have the exact tools to do you over time and again. There's no shame in it. It's just that the other guy has got your number.
Andy Murray will be remembered as one of the best players ever to play the game. Had he been born five years later, he'd probably have 10 Slams. He's a multi-millionaire, he's got a beautiful wife, he's got fame and health and incredible talent. And he's got no luck at all.