He is a sweater vest-wearing offensive genius who rose from the high-school coaching ranks to the BCS title game in less than a decade. But what do we really know about Gus Malzhan's past? What skeletons have never been unearthed from his days as an anonymous small-town coach in Arkansas?

Thanks to the wonders of YouTube, we now have our first piece of damning evidence.

As it turns out -- are you sitting down for this? -- Malzahn was once just a young dad trying desperately to seem "cool" to his two daughters. It's true!

And if you wanted to seem like a "cool" dad in the 1990s, one of the things you might've tried to do is show your kids that you absolutely knew the hippest way to break-dance to MC Hammer's "U Can't Touch This."

So 18 years ago, on a family trip to Six Flags over Texas, Malzahn did just that. Here is the glorious, glorious result:

We don't even know where to begin with a critique of his dancing skills. Do we even need to? You saw it.

Instead, let's hear some of the fun back story, courtesy of al.com.

"I was out at Six Flags over Texas with my family and it's one of those booths over there," Malzahn said on his weekly radio show Monday night. "You see people lip sync and all that. My girls, family said, 'Hey, do this!' No, no, I'm not doing it. Finally I had enough and I said, 'No, I'm going to do it.' So, I went in there and of course we got it done."

Oh, he got it done all right. More from al.com:

The video, which has not been seen by Malzahn in several years, has been referred to by friends and family as the "Bigfoot" wandering in Malzahn's past. On Sunday, a teacher at Springdale (Arkansas) High School found the clip on a DVD from the early 2000s and uploaded it to YouTube.

Malzahn and his wife, Kristi, shared the video with senior classes at Shiloh Christian and Springdale High during their playoff runs. "I would show that video to them to show them I'm a real person," he said. ...

Malzahn joked his high school teams "were impressed" by his dance moves. "It was pretty ugly," he later admitted.

Maybe so. But anyone of a certain age probably has something from the mid-'90s they are embarrassed by.

It's just that most of them don't have it surface two decades later with 250,000 flocking to YouTube to see it in all of its wonderful '90s glory.

Ah, the price one pays to be a "cool" dad.

Malzahn: "I was a little more limber back then. I'd probably hurt myself if I did that now."

— Greg Ostendorf (@GregO_ESPN) November 4, 2014

Malzahn on dancing video: "I don't think Dancing with the Stars will ever want me to participate after that."

— Greg Ostendorf (@GregO_ESPN) November 4, 2014