When even a cheeky New Zealand scrum-half can give proper guidance to an Australian referee, then you really know that 'things are crook in Tallarook.'
As if the dire situation of four New Zealand teams easily overhauling their Australian opponents over the past three days is not humiliating enough, in the middle of this Kiwi onslaught we witnessed one of their best putting one of our very few reasonable operators right in his spot.
During the Hurricanes' breezy win over the Reds on Saturday night, the visitors had four tries disallowed- including when their half-back TJ Perenara took a quick tap from a scrum penalty awarded close to the Queensland line.
Australia's usually on-the-spot referee Angus Gardner immediately awarded the try, but called it back when told by the Television Match Official that Perenara had not tapped the ball with his foot when taking the penalty. His foot was nowhere near the ball when he allegedly tapped it, before placing it under the uprights.
After disallowing the try, Gardner indicated he was giving the Reds the scrum. Perenara ran back to explain this was the wrong decision. As he hadn't tapped the ball, Penerara told Gardner: "It's still our penalty."
Gardner was silent for a second, before replying: "Yeah, that's a fair point." Possession for the Hurricanes. And another one for the Kiwis.
Thus, ends another sickly Australian rugby weekend where Kiwi sides outscored their withering trans-Tasman foes by 150 points to 64. And so, we witness a Super Rugby table where the New Zealand sides are placed in top spot (Crusaders), second (Chiefs), fifth (Hurricanes), eighth (Blues) and ninth (Highlanders).
The Australian teams are meanwhile languishing in tenth (Brumbies), twelfth (Waratahs), 13th (Reds), 14th (Force) and last (Rebels).
No wonder even the legendary satirical Australian newspaper- The Betoota Advocate- is now having digs at Australian Rugby.
The day before this calamity of a round began, the Advocate ran a spoof news piece which was headlined: IRB Urge Australia To Cut Losses And Merge All Five Domestic Super Rugby Teams. The paper's cadet reporter Wendell Hussey explained that the Australian Rugby Union would call their solitary Super Rugby team "Sydney Sausages" because it would be a 'team of off-cuts.'
With each week, this gag is becoming more and more credible, especially after endless matches where the New Zealanders outpoint their Australian counterparts in every facet of the game.
The New Zealanders are fitter, faster, smarter, better organised, better coached, better drilled, better everything. The Kiwis understand the basics, and practice the basics. The Australians just hang on and hope- which is understandable for a sorry bunch whose skill level leaves a lot to be desired. The physical condition of some notable Australian players must also be seriously questioned, especially at a province- the Waratahs- where they have been banging on and on about how well they have been training in recent times.
Well, it is obvious that some are leaving their best efforts on the training paddock, because on game day they are lumbering. Their defensive strategy also appears to be non-existent as evidenced by them on Sunday against the Crusaders missing 47 tackles [Fox Sports Stats].
Finding Australian round highlights were difficult, but there were some. The Force, Reds and Waratahs at least tried. The same cannot be said of the Rebels, with several players once again only going through the motions, putting up fake efforts especially in defence. How some of them hold onto their first XV spots is beyond me? It just proves that the squad depth must be absolutely dreadful in Melbourne.
And the Waratahs look as if they have found a No 10, who may not exactly fill the big gap left by a concussed Bernard Foley, but at least showed he can hold up pretty well under considerable pressure.
When Foley was last sidelined, the Waratahs tried Bryce Hegarty at pivot, and he was found to be considerably short of the mark. So they threw newcomer Mack Mason into the side, and for a first game against a formidable opponent, the 21-year-old Cairns-born Australian under-20s representative handled the moment.
There were a few bungles, but that was covered with usually astute passing that led to two Waratahs tries, and generally accurate chip kicks. It was the type of effort that has the inquisitive searching their match program to find out: "Who is this bloke?" Resembling a bantamweight pug with his white headgear, Mason outshone several of his better-known teammates.
A small plus, but a handy plus at a time when the punch-drunk and desperate world of Australian Rugby will take any slim pickings they can find.