COLUMBUS, Ohio -- Sean Monahan said he will miss Johnny Gaudreau for the rest of his life -- but called it "special to get that memory every day" as his locker stall is next to the one the team will keep reserved for the late Columbus Blue Jackets star.
Monahan, 29, signed a five-year deal in Columbus this summer in part to reunite with Gaudreau, his teammate for nine years in Calgary, whom he called "arguably my best friend."
As the Blue Jackets opened training camp on Wednesday, Monahan spoke for the first time publicly since Gaudreau and his brother, Matthew, were killed by a suspected drunken driver while riding bicycles on Aug. 29. Monahan was a pallbearer at the funeral and was going to live three houses down from the Gaudreau family in Ohio.
"I still don't know the exact words to even say," said Monahan, who wore a shirt featuring a large No. 13 and a photo of Gaudreau to the news conference.
"I'm excited for the season. I'm excited to get it going. We're going to miss Johnny. I'm going to miss Johnny a lot. It's something I think about every day. It's definitely really hard to get through, but we've got a great group here and we're going to miss him as a team."
The team announced plans to formally honor Gaudreau, including wearing a helmet sticker featuring the name Gaudreau, two doves and the numbers 13 and 21 -- which Johnny and Matthew wore in their hockey careers. The team will also have a No. 13 patch on their jerseys throughout the season and postponed traditional opening night festivities -- including player blue carpet arrivals -- to the second game, as the Oct. 15 opener at Nationwide Arena will be focused on honoring the Gaudreau brothers.
The Blue Jackets will reserve a locker stall for Gaudreau all season and will hang his No. 13 jersey in it, both at home and on the road.
"Going to what he would want, it was to just, play hockey. He loved every second of every time he was in the rink. At practice, games, sharing time with the guys," captain Boone Jenner said. "That's something, when we come in, we try to enjoy each other through the good times -- but especially through the bad times."
Several Blue Jackets players had already formed a relationship with Monahan because of his friendship with Gaudreau. Those players also recognized the difficult circumstance Monahan faces joining a new team, where he is tasked to be a mentor to young centers Adam Fantilli and Cole Sillinger.
"[Monahan] walked into a tough situation, meeting the guys for the first time after this happened," defenseman Zach Werenski said. "I give him a lot of credit. Obviously, we know John is a big reason of why he signed here. It goes back to that point of being together. We're there for him and I think it speeds things up a little bit, the relationships. It's one of the worst times in his life, and he's been awesome to be around. So that speaks volumes to what type of person he is. As a group, we're here for him. We're going to get through this thing together."
Blue Jackets management, coaches and players spoke Wednesday about grieving together, and honoring Gaudreau by constantly asking themselves, "What would Johnny want us to do?" On the night of Gaudreau's wake in New Jersey, coach Dean Evason met with the leadership group as they were sitting around and asked that very question. They decided Gaudreau would have wanted them to watch football and have a couple beers.
"With our videos we put together for camp, of the coaches asked, do we take Johnny out of all of the clips?" Evason said. "I said 'Absolutely not.' Johnny is going to teach. Good and bad. If he didn't back check, we'll show it. He's going to be with us. He's going to be a presence."
Columbus is beginning a new chapter with a new coach in Evason (who was fired by Minnesota last season) and new general manager in Don Waddell (who mutually parted ways in Carolina after his contract expired this spring). A big focus is reshaping the culture and expediting the rebuild so that the Blue Jackets can make the playoffs for the first time since 2020. They are on their fifth head coach in that span.
Before the tragedy, Evason was looking for ways to create a fresh start for players. He shook up locker room assignments and asked for all the photos above the stalls, which were previously individual photos of players, to be replaced with photos of players in groups. The coach also told his staff not to tell him anything about the players -- their personalities, how they played last year, how they conducted themselves.
"I don't care. I don't care what happened last year," Evason said. "I just care about what's happening at practice and moving forward."
Monahan said that he always has nerves entering a training camp as he wants to make a good impression, including this year -- his 12th season in the league.
"There is a lot of weight on our shoulders right now," Monahan said. "A huge loss, a special person who is not here. It's on my mind every day, every second. And we want to put our best foot forward, our best effort out there for John."