<
>

The Bottom 10 has drama, it has upsets, it has ... basketball?

Bryan Lynn/Icon Sportswire

The Bottom 10 inspirational thought of the week:

We were high ('til when it's all good)
We were low ('til when it's all bad)
But I promise I will never let you go
(now what you call that)
Said I got I got I got I got your back, boy
(you got my back right?)
I got I got I got I got your back, boy
(as long I know you got my back right)
Keep my swagger
Keep it looking good for ya
Keep it looking hood for ya
And Shawty, if you don't know
I got I got I got I got your back, boy

-- "Got Your Back," T.I.

Heading into Week 10 of the college football season there were grumblings that the weekend slate wasn't great, that there seemed to be little opportunity for chaos and the top 10 might be too safe for America's liking. "But wait!" people argued. "We always say that very same thing around this time of year and we are always wrong!"

This time, we weren't wrong. For the first time in a decade we had a November weekend in which no AP Top 10 team lost. People were bummed. People were dismayed. People were downright angry. Here at Bottom 10 HQ, located in the greenhouse where Jordan Rodgers keeps his roses, our reaction to their reaction was simple.

That's what you get for watching the Top 10.

The Bottom 10 weekend had drama. It had upsets. It was packed with raw, unchecked, sometimes unreasonable waves of emotion and angst. And I'm not just saying that because it was my daughter's birthday and my house was filled with middle school girls for 48 hours.

With apologies to Dave down at X-Con Security Consultants and Steve Harvey, here's the Bottom 10 for Week 11.

1. Minute Rice (1-10)

OK, this isn't really a great start to our "we had upsets" theme, but the Owls were leading Louisiana Tech in the third quarter!

2. Central Michigan Chippy-was (1-10)

Meanwhile, the monthlong #MACtion round-robin tourney of one-win teams finally ended on Saturday, and yes, it did so via upset. According to ESPN's mystically magically accurate Football Power Index, CMU entered its game with fellow 1-9'er Boiling Green holding a 75.1 percent chance to win. That increased to 88.1 percent when the Chips led 13-0 at halftime. It fell to 49.1 percent when BGSU took its first lead late in the third quarter, then ultimately landed at 0.1 percent in the closing seconds of the 24-13 loss. This week they are listed with a 34.1 percent chance of defeating Open Date U.

3. Western Kentucky Hillstoppers (1-9)

When it comes to making a statement to the Bottom 10 selection committee and it's "eye test," WKU won't have another opportunity quite like this weekend, when it hosts regional rival UTEP in the Pillow Fight of the Week of the Year: Episode VII: Revenge of the Red Blob.

4. UTEPID (1-9)

Then again, our experience says experience matters in these matters and the Minors hold a major edge, having participated in V of the VII Pillow Fights of the Week of the Year this year.

5. The Cold Kentucky Rain (7-3)

A mere two weeks ago the nation was buzzing about the boys in blue and their chances of crashing the SEC title game and perhaps even bigger games beyond that. But the Wildcats lost to Georgia at home and followed that with their 17th consecutive loss in Knoxville, this time to a four-win Tennessee team. Meanwhile, the basketball team was run over by a truck with no brakes. Authorities say it had North Carolina plates, was painted dark blue and the driver looked like the Count from Sesame Street. Reports say he shouted, "One ... two ... three ... four ... five! The Coveted Fifth Spot goes to you, from K! UK! Bwahahahaha!"

6. U-Can't (1-9)

While former Big East rival Boston College spent Saturday hosting College GameDay and a standing-room-only crowd watched its team lose to recent College Football Playoff national champion Clemson, the Huskies had midfield tickets for sale on Vivid Seats for $6 and were being beaten by recent Bottom 10 national champion SMU. But the GameDay crew did drive by the Storrs exit on its way home to Bristol later that night, so there's that.

7. In a Rut-gers (1-9)

Speaking of former Big East schools, over the past three weeks the Scarlet Knots have lost to Northwestern, Wisconsin and Michigan. Over the next two weeks, they will play Penn State and Michigan State. Instead of going to a bowl game, they will pay a shady guy from an Atlantic City casino to stop by on Christmas Day and punch them in the face.

8. San No-se State (1-9)

Here's an upset chain for you. The only win for the Spartans Not Trojans this season was over UNLV, which just upset San Diego State, which upset Arizona State, which beat Utah, which beat Stanford, which beat Oregon, which beat ...

9. Boiling Green State (2-8)

OK, Oregon over Bowling Green isn't an upset. But let's take a moment here to recognize that Oregon scheduled Bowling Green. That is an upset. Then again, Oregon also has played San No-se State and UCLA and in two weeks will play Oregon State. Wait, are the Ducks trying to paddle their way into the Bottom 10?

10. Lou-ugh-ville (2-8)

Kentucky's slump continued when it learned that it was being denied the fun of beating Bobby Petrino over Thanksgiving. Petrino was fired by Louisville on Sunday morning. Does it get any more awkward than hosting Bobby Petrino's TV show with Bobby Petrino when the news breaks that Bobby Petrino has been fired? I mean, other than just having any regular awkward conversation with Bobby Petrino?

Waiting List: Living on Tulsa Time (2-8), Georgia State Not Southern (2-8), UNC Achilles' Heels (1-8), South Alabama Redundancies (2-8), Ore-gone State (2-8), UCLA Boo-ins (2-8), Ar-kan't-saw (2-8), State of Kent (2-8), Kansas Nayhawks (3-7), using a ref as a human shield while taking a sucker punch.