Not much could motivate Ryan Spann to get out of bed. Not his kids. Not even some of life's essential processes, like eating and going to the bathroom.
"It was a couple times where I'd just get a jug and pee in it and have my wife empty it," Spann said. "It was bad, man. It was tough times."
It felt like the end. Spann had a chance to earn a UFC roster spot on Dana White's Tuesday Night Contender Series in July 2017, but it was dashed in just 15 seconds, courtesy of hellacious elbows from Karl Roberson.
Some fighters never get that opportunity again, and that fact wasn't lost on Spann. The opportunity to earn a better living for his growing family was gone in a blink -- faster than a speeding bullet for a man nicknamed "Superman."
For someone who has been involved in martial arts since he was 18 months old, that moment and some added personal issues were all just too much to take. It left him in a crippling depression.
"Literally, 98 percent of my life was spent with martial arts. So I felt like I had no other outlets or really nothing to look forward to," Spann said. "All the money is in the UFC, and that's really the only reason I fight. So when I failed, I was like, 'I don't know what else to do.' I have no other real skills outside of fighting. I can't play football anymore, I can't run track anymore. I'm too far out of school. So that's all I really just had."
Less than two years later, Spann is on a five-fight winning streak and thinking about a world championship. He won his UFC debut in September, and on Saturday in Rio de Janeiro, the 27-year-old light heavyweight will fight Antonio Rogerio Nogueira on ESPN in the featured prelim of UFC 237.
This turnaround might not have been possible without some wisdom from his young son.
With his dad laid up in bed, Ryan Jr., then 5 years old, took it upon himself to provide a pep talk. Spann said his wife told him something was bothering their son, so he got out of bed and took his son for a walk.
"We went walking down the street and he just asked me at one point who's my favorite superhero," Spann said. "I was like, 'I'm not sure.' He's like, 'Not Superman?' That's my nickname. I was like, 'I don't know.' He said, 'Well, they call you Superman.' I was like, 'Yeah, I know.' I'm not gonna say I don't like [the nickname], but I don't like it when I'm not fighting.
"He was like, 'When are you gonna fight again?' I said, 'I don't know if I'm ever gonna fight again.' He was like, 'You should fight again.' He said, 'You've just gotta do more better.'"
Spann made a promise to his son at that moment to fight one more time. And by the time he got back to training regularly at Fortis MMA in Dallas, those thoughts of quitting were long gone. It was around that time that Spann posted a photo on Instagram of a comic book page showing Superman in a casket being carried away by other superheroes. Spann wanted everyone to know that the 205-pound fighter known as Superman was dead "as you know him."
Spann's first fight back after the Contender Series loss was a first-round finish of Lemarcus Tucker in the LFA promotion. He strung together two more first-round stoppages to land another spot on Contender Series last June. Spann submitted Emiliano Sordi in just 26 seconds with a guillotine choke. White granted him a UFC contract. Superman had returned.
"It was like that loss [to Roberson] spawned him to grow up," Spann's head coach, Sayif Saud, said. "You know, you've heard this story before, but it really did. Especially when you don't get a chance to showcase who you are at all. That's the worst way to lose, when you lose like that.
"He just never trained as hard as he could have. And I think after that fight, that really locked it in for him. He went on a tear."
Spann won his UFC debut by unanimous decision over Luis Henrique at UFC Sao Paulo last September. Now he gets Nogueira, who is wildly popular in Rio. It's a significant challenge, but one the athletic, 6-foot-5 Spann is embracing. This is the exact matchup he wanted.
"We're trying to get where we gotta go and we're trying to get there as soon as possible," Spann said. "He's got a big name. What better way to introduce yourself than by taking out a god in his native land?"
The 42-year-old Nogueiro has been competing in MMA since 2001 and has shared a cage or ring with many of the greats, from Dan Henderson to Tito Ortiz, Mauricio "Shogun" Rua to Anthony "Rumble" Johnson, Alistair Overeem to Rashad Evans. Along with his twin brother, one time heavyweight champion Antonio Rodrigo Nogueiro, he is indeed MMA royalty in Brazil.
Spann (15-5) isn't ranked right now, and neither is Nogueira. But a victory at UFC 237, especially an impressive one, would lift Spann's stock in a major way. There is the possibility for accelerated upward mobility at 205 pounds in this era. And while Spann is loathe to talk about champion Jon Jones, perhaps the greatest of all time, Saud is not.
"If somebody isn't gigantic, they're just not gonna win in that weight class with Jon. They're just not," Saud said. "You've got Spann, who is bigger than Jon, who can wrestle, who has jiu-jitsu, a sneaky-ass guillotine as you've seen, a powerful right hand. Probably more powerful than Jon even, just puts people down. So he's a guy that has a ton of upside. A ton."
"What better way to introduce yourself than by taking out a god in his native land?" UFC light heavyweight Ryan Spann on Antonio Rogerio Nogueira.
To Spann, though, it doesn't matter who has the title. He said he told Saud after his comeback fight in 2017 that he would be a world champion in three years, and that remains the goal.
In addition to the money that comes with a belt, Spann acknowledges that training in MMA -- and athletics in general -- make him whole. The Texas resident, who grew up in Memphis and Mississippi, said he has battled depression throughout his life. Spann said he also believes he has obsessive-compulsive disorder. Both have gone undiagnosed to this point, but he sees training as a form of therapy.
"When I'm getting ready for fights, I can turn off all of that," Spann said. "It takes my mind off of it. As much as I hate thinking about fights, it kind of takes my mind off things when I'm training."
Spann is on a hot streak right now. There inevitably will be down moments, too. Nothing is guaranteed in mixed martial arts. But Spann has already been through his own personal hell and made it out the other side. It's hard to keep Superman down for long.
"Even before going into that loss, I had a lot of bull going on in my life, in my personal life," Spann said. "And it all just kind of came to a head when I lost that fight. That's what kind of led me to be the way I was. It wasn't necessarily the loss but everything beforehand, too. I grew up."