AUGUSTA, Ga. -- Excuse me, Jordan Spieth, but didn't you get the Masters memo?
This is supposed to be Rory McIlroy's week, not yours. And if not McIlroy, then it's supposed to belong to Tiger Woods. Or Bubba Watson.
You? You're supposed to be our Masters fallback position. Our storyline safety net. We were going to call you only if Rory withdrew after suffering a tragic box jump injury. Or if Tiger missed the cut after his long-awaited return to tournament play. Or if Bubba missed a tee time because he was at Waffle House.
But then came Thursday and your run up the leaderboard -- and a run at golf history. Suddenly, it didn't matter that McIlroy needs his first green jacket to complete a career Grand Slam. Or if Woods is here for the weekend. Or if Watson wins back-to-back Masters.
Wow. For a minute there we thought you were not only going to lead the Masters, but cause the rest of the field to do the UFC thing and tap out after just the first round.
One of your playing partners, Billy Horschel, was so impressed that he told you during the round he needed a tape player on each tee box that repeated the phrase, "Nice hole, Jordan."
You were 4 under after the front nine, 7 under after the 13th hole, 8 under after the 14th, with the par-5 15th -- a hole known to give up lots of birdies and the occasional eagle -- to move to 9 or 10 under. Do that, and we're talking about the possibility of tying the lowest score in majors history (63) or breaking it.
Except that you left the 15th green with a bogey and steam coming from your ears. But that's OK. You recovered. You kept it together and finished with an 8-under-par 64, good enough for a 3-stroke lead over Jason Day, Justin Rose, Charley Hoffman and Ernie Els.
"One of the better rounds I've ever played," you said later. "I'd take three more of them."
You think? Three more 8 unders and they'd name an Augusta National bridge or veranda after you. You'd shatter Tiger's 18-under total in 1997. Under Armour would do a commercial about a little kid wanting to grow up to be you.
"It's Round 1," you reminded everyone. "There's 54 holes left and anything happens in a major."
Fair enough. So no majors history, but you did become the youngest 18-hole leader at the Masters. Second on the list? McIlroy, by three months.
What a cool Thursday. For you. For us.
We saw Day put together one, two, three, four, five consecutive birdies on the back nine to move into contention. Is that any good?
We saw Hoffman hold the clubhouse lead for much of the day after teeing off in the first group. And that might not have been the highlight of his Thursday. Earlier in the morning on the driving range, Hoffman nervously asked Arnold Palmer and Jack Nicklaus for their autographs. He got their signatures and later got a 5-under 67. Fun.
Rose hadn't been playing well for much of the year, so he switched up his scheduling. Instead of his usual pre-Masters plan -- not playing the week before -- he went to Houston and sort of found his game.
On Thursday he found a score of 67 to tie Hoffman and a certain South African golf geezer.
That would be Els, who has the same number of Masters appearances (21) as you had candles, Jordan, on last July's birthday cake. Els is 45, but he finds a way to sweet-talk the calendar when it counts most, like his win in 2012 at the Open Championship. Now he does this at Augusta National with a swing that always seems decades younger.
Meanwhile, McIlroy might still beat you, but he'll have to do better than his opening-round 1-under-par 71.
And Woods, the guy you played nine holes with on Wednesday before the Par 3 Contest, doesn't appear to be much of a threat to the leaderboard. But his short game definitely doesn't need a medic alert panic button anymore.
But, no, you were the storyline that mattered most. Nine birdies ... including a semi-impossible 7-iron shot on No. 14 that bounced on the green, caromed softly against the flagstick and settled close enough for a kick-in birdie ... and another birdie on No. 18 (there were only seven there all day).
"It's just a lot of good breaks and good putting and chipping and short-game day for me," you said.
Maybe. But Els, who has golf towels older than you, certainly gushed about your present and your future. Why not? You finished second here last year in your first Masters. You entered this week with a win and two second-place finishes in your past three tournaments.
"...[W]hat a player," Els said. "You just cannot see this kid not win many, many majors. I think he is by far the most balanced kid I've seen."
Of course, you didn't know the Masters course record (and majors record) was 63. You appreciate golf history, but you're not obsessed with it.
You could have blamed your caddie, Michael Greller, for what happened on No. 15 but didn't. (They debated between a 4-iron or a hybrid ... and chose the hybrid -- which Spieth flew long of the green in two.)
"He did exactly what I want him to do," you said. "It was also my responsibility to then bet on myself to hit a shot solid."
Forget the nine birdies. That might have been one of the coolest things you did all day.
You're right, it's Round 1. Things happen. You led the Masters after three rounds last year but shot even par and finished in a tie for second. Bubba won, but you learned.
Someone will tell you soon enough how difficult it is to lead from start to finish, but you're not thinking about that -- yet -- you said.
"I need to play some really, really good golf," you said. "And I need to hit my driver and I need to hit my irons better than I did [Thursday] to have a chance to win this week."
A perfect answer on a near-perfect day.