All my life, I'm used to being seen as different. My mother is Italian, my father is from Kerala and I'm born and raised in Himachal (Pradesh) and consider myself a Himachali. But when I tell people my name, they go, 'No, that's not a Himachali name, where are you from?' It has its own repercussions because if people don't identify with you, they won't support you.
I've faced racist behaviour myself. It's only when I started winning medals for Himachal Pradesh that I was looked at in a different light and then too only by people who knew me. When I visit Kerala, I know I don't look like a Keralite either. I told myself I could look at it in two ways -- either I believe that I don't belong anywhere or I feel that I belong everywhere. I chose the latter. It's what India is about. I speak Malayalam, Punjabi, Hindi and I try to fit in wherever I go.
When I started out in the 1990s, winter sport was a largely European domain. There were very few athletes of colour. I was not taken seriously in my early days of international competition. People thought I was there to add some variety. Journalists abroad were amused to see me compete and they'd come up and ask me questions almost like it was a circus show. I remember one European journalist laughing at me and asking, 'Have you ever been in cold conditions or seen the snow'? I just smiled and told him, 'Yes, buddy, incidentally my house is in the Himalayas.' So a lot of it is about ignorance and, perhaps, a lack of empathy.
When I was in Europe, I was called 'Taliban' and 'mad cow' by fellow athletes and I chose not to react to it in an aggressive manner or retort with a similar remark. My food habits were obviously different, so they'd taunt me over that. I never let what they said bother me. Partly because I'm used to being seen as an outsider or different even in India, whether it was at a store or while buying a ticket or the way officials sometimes treated me, so you could say I knew how to deal with it. Racism is a form of bullying. The way I look at it, not giving credence to these jabs and ignoring them completely can work. When the people who called me those names realised it didn't have any effect on me, I guess it stopped being fun. The whole intent was probably to get a reaction out of me, which didn't happen. As people on the circuit got to know me better and saw my performances, it slowly stopped.
My coach (Duncan Kennedy) had to face serious violent episodes because of racism. He got his nose broken for protecting another person of colour. The insults, name-calling and taunts may not always escalate into violence but the aftereffects can often cause serious mental (health) issues.
"Athletes are role models and people identify with them in their aspirations, so the responsibility is much greater on them to speak out on these things." Shiva Keshavan
What I've always attempted to do is fit into the places I'm in and understand what other people's cultures and feelings are, which has helped establish empathy. When someone different from the majority group shows up, it usually sparks a sort of tension that says, 'You're from a different place and I don't accept you'. The responsibility and the power lies with the majority groups -- ethnic, religious, caste, gender, whatever -- everywhere to change that.
I think the competitive environment of sport can often spur athletes to use any means at one's disposal to establish dominance. More often than not, it's picking on one's skin tone or how one looks because that's the easiest thing to do. It's something you face every day if you're an Indian abroad. You're treated differently. Athletes either brush it aside or counter it in other ways, including performance. One good thing about the athlete environment is that everybody respects hard work and respects performance. Once you start to perform, you can be less of a target. But there are many who lose out, even within teams, and countries who are singled out. There are many nuances to racism.
For sports fans everywhere, too, when you're part of a group, it's easy to be swayed by a sort of herd mentality. Support for your team then turns into a tribalistic instinct to bring down members of other teams.
Athletes have a special place in society. They are role models and people identify with them in their aspirations so the responsibility is much greater on athletes to speak out on these things. The onus is on those who are empowered and have a wider reach. I'm glad so many athletes are speaking now. For Indian athletes who are having to deal with anything similar, the IOA Athletes Commission (which I'm a part of) is the right forum to address the issue.
Ultimately, sport builds character. Globally, Indians are known to be quiet, introverted people who don't speak up. We need to start small, dealing with attitudes and prejudices within our own society. It's good to be proud of our heritage of belonging to a certain part of the country, but not in an aggressive, racist way. We didn't invent everything that exists in the world today. The only thing we can be truly proud of as individuals is our own achievements.
(As told to Susan Ninan)
Shiva Keshavan, India's six-time Winter Olympian, is a member of the IOC-mandated IOA Athletes Commission.