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Weekly Reader: The Alternative NHL Awards for 2017-18

William Karlsson and the Golden Knights won a number of our Alternative NHL Awards for 2017-18. Sergei Belski-USA TODAY Sports

The NHL Awards are in Las Vegas next week, which really used to feel like a novelty until a team sprung up there like a desert rose. Still, fun will be had, tuxedos will be worn, bad jokes will be uttered by presenters and Gerard Gallant will win the Jack Adams. These are the things we know to be true.

But these are not the only awards bestowed upon the NHL in late June. The Weekly Reader has its own Alternative NHL Awards to hand out now that the Stanley Cup has been hoisted and the commissioner has been jeered, as is tradition.

Team of the Year: The Vegas Golden Knights

The Stanley Cup Final presented two narratives that were as compelling as any we've seen in the postseason in quite some time: Alex Ovechkin and the Washington Capitals chasing their first Cup vs. an expansion team that blew up the record book and was trying to make sports -- not just hockey -- history. Even in defeat, the Knights became legend, setting a (completely unreasonable) new standard for first-year teams. They fancied themselves as the "Golden Misfits," and while they weren't exactly a scrap heap of players, many of them played like they had something to prove and someone to disprove. And their bond with the city ... my lord. Through tragedy and triumph, the story of the Golden Knights and the community that embraced them was a reminder of the unique power of sports as an escapist unifier.

Doggo of the Year: Bark Andre Furry

And here we thought Carrot Top was going to end up being Vegas's most famous fan.

Flop of the Year: Edmonton Oilers

There was some competition for this honor, but no team had the rocket-like trajectory of the Oilers in 2016-17 only to plummet into the ocean while malfunctioning in 2017-18. Connor McDavid's 108-point attempt to drag this team to respectability was undercut by subpar defense and lack of a supporting cast as the jettisoning of talent finally caught up with Edmonton. Crosby played for a Stanley Cup in his third season. McDavid was back in the lottery. Well, his team was. No second chances for Connor.

Player of the Year: Nathan MacKinnon and Taylor Hall (tie)

Look, I'm already exhausted with the MacKinnon vs. Hall debate for the Hart Trophy, and we haven't even gotten to the part where we know who actually won the dang thing. So, congrats to MacKinnon on a career year that made the Avalanche a playoff team again. Congrats to Hall on a career year that made the Devils a playoff team again. May the best man win. And by that we probably mean the man with the most recency bias in the voting.

Least Valuable Player: Scott Darling

This is obviously a heartbreaker given his backstory, but it's undeniable that the Carolina Hurricanes goalie's bum year sunk their chances. He signed a four-year, $16-million contract to become a starting goalie. He ended the season with a .897 even-strength save percentage in 43 appearances, which was the worst for any goalie that had more than 20. A disaster, but hopefully only in Year 1, because we're rooting for the guy to rebound.

Fan of the Year: Scott Foster

With due respect to any child near the glass who didn't get a stick or a puck tossed to them and then entered viral video fame: You did not get to tend goal for your favorite NHL team on an emergency basis and become a beer league deity in the process. Fozzy did.

Quote of the Year

Cam Talbot, speaking for all of us, on goalie interference.

Best NHL Owner: Jeff Vinik, Tampa Bay Lightning

The Lightning are a class organization run by a class individual whose commitment to growing the game locally is palpable. Tampa put on a great show for the All-Star Game, pirate festival and all.

Worst NHL Owner: Eugene Melnyk, Ottawa Senators

This is like having a poll that asks, "What is your favorite chemical element to breathe?" and oxygen wins.

Game of the Year: Predators vs. Jets

While Game 1 of the Stanley Cup Final was Peak Hockey, the Feb. 28 game between the Winnipeg Jets and Nashville Predators was the game of the year. Ryan Hartman, just acquired at the trade deadline, scored with a minute left to complete a Nashville rally for a 6-5 win. Few regular-season games could hope to match the pace of this one, and it whet the appetite for the semifinal barnburner to come between the teams.

Best PR Moment for the NHL: Getting Olympic Rub

Despite not formally backing either women's professional hockey league with a significant financial commitment nor sending its own athletes to the Winter Games, the NHL got a boost when the U.S. Women's Olympic ice hockey team was announced at the Winter Classic at Citi Field and then applauded for their goal medals at the Stadium Series game at Navy.

Worst PR Moment for the NHL: Kid Rock at the All-Star Game

This is really saying something in a year that saw so many embarrassing emails and deposition moments from the concussion litigation.

Beer Delivery of the Year: T.J. Oshie

We know, we know ... Ovechkin did a keg stand on the Stanley Cup, and it was spectacular. But Oshie pulling his jersey over his head and using it as a filter to chug a Bud Light through was just so much weirder. Like, 2 a.m. on a Saturday weirder. And he did in front of thousands of fans on the National Mall in broad daylight. And he was so pleased with himself.

Agitation of the Year: Licking

Brad Marchand licking the faces of two opponents in the playoffs forced the NHL to intervene and his coach Bruce Cassidy to proclaim, "Brad has to stop licking. That's the end of the story." A truly disgusting, yet remarkable story and after it ended, Marchand lamented that he needed to mature to become a leader like Patrice Bergeron. So maybe just pecks on the cheek, going forward.

Goal of the Year: William Karlsson

Filip Forsberg had a few candidates. Sidney Crosby did too, mostly through his ridiculous hand-eye coordination. But Wild Bill's shorthanded move not only was a masterclass in puck patience, but clinched the division title for the Knights.

Weirdest Goal of the Year: Hurricanes vs. Coyotes

The Arizona Coyotes didn't realize they had scored a goal against Carolina Hurricanes goalie Cam Ward. Then again, Ward had no idea, either. In one of the most bizarre scoring sequences in NHL history, the puck became lodged in Ward's right skate before he stuck his leg entirely inside the net to position himself to make a save. Play was stopped when the puck was clearly missing. A linesman came over and poked the puck from Ward's skate. The sequence was reviewed by the NHL situation room, and a goal was awarded to the Coyotes. This was incredible.

And finally ...

Best Slicing of a Military Jet: The Golden Knight

Sometimes everything that happened with the Golden Knights feels like a fever dream.


Did skipping the Olympics help the Capitals win the Cup?

On Feb. 24, Russian hockey players stood arm-in-arm on the ice with Olympic gold medals around their necks. Their generic jerseys read "Olympic Athlete From Russia," a symptom of the IOC's doping penalties against the nation that basically stripped away the geographic identities of their athletes. But they sang the Russian national anthem together, even if the Russian flag wasn't invited to the medal ceremony.

Not among them: Countrymen Alex Ovechkin, Evgeny Kuznetsov or Dmitry Orlov. The NHL infamously barred its players from competing in the Olympics this year, a decision fueled by the IOC's avarice and Gary Bettman's constant positioning for pending labor wars. They would have all been there otherwise. The same could be said of T.J. Oshie and John Carlson for Team USA. Or Nicklas Backstrom for Sweden. Or Braden Holtby for Canada. Or Andre Burakovsky for Sweden and possibly Jakub Vrana and Michal Kempny for the Czechs. (Nathan Walker was safe, as Australia has yet to rise to hockey superpower status. Yet ...)

If all of these players seem like they have something in common, it's because they were all recently seen both vigorously hoisting the Stanley Cup and attempting to stay hydrated with light beer at the Washington Capitals' championship celebrations. According to their general manager, one reason those celebrations happened was the fact that none of them played in the 2018 Winter Olympics.

"We would have had quite a few players playing in the Olympics. That takes a lot of energy. A lot of wear on the travel," said Brian MacLellan, specifically noting that not having Ovechkin leave for the Games was a benefit to him. "It would have been an extra two weeks in the season,"

Not having NHL players in the Olympics was a total bummer and rendered the tournament almost inconsequential for many fans. But at least someone benefited from it, apparently. This was an intriguing and honest take from MacLellan, and one we imagine Bettman will file away should he need to make the case against participation in four years. ("The Capitals themselves said they wouldn't have won the Stanley Cup if we sent the players to the Olympics!" ... can't you just hear that at the press conference?)


Jersey Foul Of The Week

We're just about through with graduation season, but this Tassel Foul from St. Bonaventure's commencement deserves some love:

The numbers next to Rasmus Dahlin's name? Out of 1,001 possible combinations in the NHL draft lottery, that was the combination assigned to the Sabres that was drawn to hand them the top overall pick.

Overall, not a Foul. And frankly, a franchise defenseman is basically as good as a diploma.


The John Tavares Derby

One of the benefits of the Stanley Cup Final ending in five games was the chance to attend my first Belmont Stakes, rather than watching the race on a small press box television in anticipation of the puck dropping about a half hour after the winner's circle celebration.

The good: I saved a bunch of money not making horrible wagers while in that press box, save for my daily contribution to the game-winning goal pool. (In which I drew Shea Theodore on the worst night of his career, among other lowlights this spring.) The bad: I witnessed a Triple Crown while sandwiched between New York Metro bros wearing their one blue blazer over a loud pair of beer soaked shorts. Good times!

It was my first time at Belmont since the New York Islanders said they were relocating there sometime in the next four or five years. I caught myself imagining where the building might be, where the fans would congregate. I remember thinking "yeah, this could work, so let's hope it's not just another float in the Islanders' false hope parade."

I didn't picture John Tavares on the ice, because, well, who could be sure of that at this juncture? The vibe I got on the road during the playoffs is the same vibe I got throughout the season, which is that the smart money is on a guy who bleeds orange and blue to remain with the team that drafted him. The hiring of Lou Lamoriello seems to have fortified that notion around the league, taking away some franchise instability that might have otherwise compelled Tavares to leave. Add in Belmont, and now you have two potential repellants off the table.

TSN's Darren Dreger reports that the Islanders and Tavares are in daily conversation. This news garnered some eye-rolling, because they're literally the only team he can speak to at this point within CBA rules; but it's also an indication that they're working on something, whether it's a framework for a deal or just attempting to reach an understanding on what needs to happen for him to stay.

Steven Stamkos is one of Tavares's closest friends in the NHL. The notion that his journey will mimic that of Stamkos -- where the speculation about him leaving the only franchise he's known was never exactly supported by an overwhelming desire to leave it -- seems increasingly likely, as the notion of Tavares actually going to market appears to be increasingly unlikely.


Listen To ESPN On Ice

Emily and I covered the glorious drunken aftermath of the Capitals' Stanley Cup championship victory with radio voice John Walton, as well as what's next for the Caps and the Vegas Golden Knights. Plus, prospects guru Chris Peters joins us to preview the NHL draft and much more. Stream ESPN On Ice here and grab it on iTunes here.


Puck headlines

While changes in the NCAA's overtime format, going to a standardized 5-on-5 overtime, got the headlines, this expansion of video review caught our eye: "The committee proposed several other changes to improve its rules. One significant change is to allow the use of video review in situations where ejecting a student-athlete is being considered. Because such calls are critical, and officials must currently make these determinations after viewing the play in real time, the committee believes this change will be a positive." [NCAA]

Something to watch: Former North Dakota players file a Title IX grievance over elimination of the hockey program. [KSTP]

Agent J.P, Barry confirms the Kings and Rangers are in on Ilya Kovalchuk. "He would like to win the Stanley Cup and he's serious about it." [Biz Journals]

Inside the world record-breaking hockey game that was played in the Himalayas. [Guinness World Records]

"Stanley Cup photo ops aren't enough, Caps. Cough up some money for kids of color." [Washington Post]

Justin Bourne on the NHL's concussion problem and potential solutions. [The Athletic]

Hockey tl;dr (too long; didn't read)

"Thanks, hockey, for making my son stronger and helping fathers understand kids a little better." [Chicago Tribune]

In case you missed this from your friends at ESPN

Goodbye Netflix. Hello Fortnite. At least inside of locker rooms, according to Arash Markazi.