The only thing worse than playing in an underachiever derby is losing an underachiever derby. On Monday evening in West London, Chelsea, distributor of €1.1 billion in transfer fees over the last two years and owner of the fourth-largest estimated payroll in the Premier League (per Capology), thumped Newcastle, by some definitions the richest club in the richest league in the world, by a 3-1 margin.
The win didn't really do anything for Chelsea -- they're still 11th in the table, eight points behind sixth-place Manchester United (a fellow underachiever) -- but it at least dragged Newcastle further into the muck. The Magpies, who qualified for the Champions League for the first time in 20 years last season but finished last in their group, are now 10th, only one point ahead of Chelsea. Assuming England's performance in this year's UEFA competitions is good enough to snare a fifth Champions League bid (and, therefore, a seventh spot in a UEFA competition), then barring an FA Cup title Newcastle only has a 38% chance of playing in Europe next season, per Opta's power ratings, while Chelsea's at 31%.
These two clubs will land on any 2023-24 underachiever list. But what explains their problems? And who joins them on said list?
Below are seven teams that fit the label in one of two ways. Three (Chelsea, Manchester United, Sevilla) are here because their estimated wages are far too high for their position in the table to be so low. Four others (Napoli, Newcastle, Lazio, Union Berlin) are here because their current pace is far lower than what qualified them for this season's Champions League.
Let's look at the stats behind some of this year's more disappointing teams.