WHEN SIDNEY CROSBY remembers Johnny Gaudreau, he thinks of the 2023 All-Star Game in Florida, sitting in gridlock traffic heading from their hotel in Fort Lauderdale.
"It was myself, Johnny and [Kevin Hayes] in the back of the bus," Crosby said. "Haysey was basically running the back of the bus there. I think he talked for 40 minutes. I don't think Johnny said anything, but he laughed for the entire 40 minutes."
For Nathan MacKinnon, it's one of his personal hockey highlights, scoring the overtime winner for Team North America against Sweden at the 2016 World Cup of Hockey. MacKinnon still rewatches the clip on YouTube "quite a bit."
"Johnny was the one that passed it to me," MacKinnon said. "We became pretty tight at that tournament and had great chemistry on the ice. He was also such a great person. He was never that serious. Just an easygoing guy, gentle with a big heart."
Jack Eichel loved being in Europe at the World Championships with Gaudreau, laughing as he struggled to read a non-English menu.
"He'd be trying to explain to the waiter or waitress that he just wanted a steak, a filet with potatoes. He didn't want anything else on it," Eichel said. "John was just a really pure human. He didn't care about nice things. The things that mattered to him were his family, his friends."
Connor McDavid's mind goes to epic matchups in the Battles of Alberta.
"He went at everybody and had such a big heart and played hard, despite his size," McDavid said. "I think he was an inspiration to a lot of guys that feel like they're undersized. But he was so fun to watch too, so skilled, and so good on his edges."
Auston Matthews thinks of the way everyone spoke about Gaudreau.
"He's so beloved by all of his friends, his teammates, his family and the people that knew him," Matthews said. "It's kind of hard to just comprehend that Johnny and his brother are no longer with us."
IT'S BEEN LESS than a month since Columbus Blue Jackets forward Johnny Gaudreau and his brother, Matthew, were killed by a suspected drunken driver while riding bicycles in their native New Jersey. The tragedy's impact is both personal and far-reaching. The Gaudreaus value family above anything else, but they've shared their grief with the hockey community, which also defines itself as a family.
"Being in hockey for a long time, I think that's one thing that we're proud of," Crosby said. "Our ability to rally around people and help each other in situations like this."
That support was visible at the funeral in Pennsylvania, where hundreds of NHL players, coaches and executives showed up.
As NHL training camps opened this week, emotions were still raw, especially in Columbus. The Blue Jackets, NHL and NHLPA have stayed in touch with the Gaudreau family, monitoring their needs while also seeking input on memorial plans.
"We're not doing anything with Johnny or Matty's name without the family signing off on it," GM Don Waddell said. The team will wear helmet decals all season featuring two doves; the idea for the doves came directly from pins handed out at the funeral.
Players have been reminded that free counseling is available. There are resources all around them, provided by the team, the players association and the league. But when Blue Jackets players arrived for medical testing on Wednesday, there was still an uneasiness of how exactly to go forward.
"To say we know exactly what to do, I don't think that's fair," captain Boone Jenner said. "I don't think there's a playbook out there for this situation and what has happened. And that's OK. I think we're going to learn and lean on each other as we go on."
As a guiding principle, the Blue Jackets adopted a mantra: "What would Johnny want us to do?" Columbus coach Dean Evason asked that the night before the funeral, as his leadership group was just sitting around. They decided Gaudreau would have wanted them to watch football and have a couple of beers. Gaudreau was known for his simplicity. He loved his Eagles so much, he often signed texts with "Go Birds."
The players agreed early on that it would be a disservice to Gaudreau if they spent an entire season dwelling.
"He'd want us to enjoy coming to the rink," defenseman Zach Werenski said. "Being around our teammates and being together."
ABOVE THE FAN entrance of Nationwide Arena, there's a large mural of four Blue Jackets players. Featured prominently is Gaudreau, shooting the puck. That's going to stay. Other logistical questions followed. As the staff prepared video for training camp, one of the coaches asked, is it appropriate to include Gaudreau in the clips? Should we edit him out? Evason was absolute. "Johnny is going to teach," Evason said. "Good and bad. If he didn't backcheck, we'll show it. He's going to be with us. He's going to be a presence."
The team is keeping Gaudreau's locker stall intact. They will travel with his No. 13 jersey on the road. Sean Monahan, one of Gaudreau's best friends, will get dressed next to the empty stall all season. Monahan was the Blue Jacket's biggest free agent addition this summer, signing a five-year deal on July 1.
"We all know," Waddell said. "The reason Sean decided to come here was because of Johnny."
Gaudreau shocked the NHL when he chose to sign with Columbus in 2022. He was the league's top free agent, having played his first nine years in Calgary and coming off a 115-point season. Then he signed a long-term deal in Columbus at a time not many other players would. But Gaudreau was considering where he and his wife, Meredith, wanted to start a family. Gaudreau often told people, "Columbus is just my cup of tea."
Two years later, Monahan followed him from Calgary. At the funeral, Meredith said her husband copied everything Monahan did. Now, it was the other way around. Monahan bought a house three doors down from the Gaudreaus.
Monahan wasn't yet ready to speak when the team held a candlelight vigil for Gaudreau earlier this month. And when training camp opened on Wednesday, he wasn't quite ready either, but knew he wanted to say something. Wearing a shirt with a picture of Gaudreau and the No. 13, Monahan told the media: "I still don't know the exact words to even say."
"There's a lot of weight on our shoulders right now," Monahan said. "There's a huge loss, a special person who's not here. Like I said, it's on my mind every day, every second. We want to obviously put our best foot forward and put our best effort out there for Johnny."
The first on-ice session on Thursday ended with players shooting the length of the ice on an empty net. Monahan went first and made it. Hugs and stick taps followed. Monahan signed to reunite with Gaudreau, but also to be a mentor to young Blue Jackets centers like Adam Fantilli and Cole Sillinger -- while shielding them from tougher first-line minutes. It's a role Monahan said he's excited to embrace.
"[Monahan] walked into a tough situation, meeting the guys for the first time after this happened," Werenski said. "I give him a lot of credit. Obviously, we know John is a big reason why he signed here. It goes back to that point of being together. We're there for him and I think it speeds things up a little bit, the relationships. It's one of the worst times in his life, and he's been awesome to be around. So that speaks volumes to what type of person he is. As a group, we're here for him. We're going to get through this thing together."
MOST PLAYERS RETURNED to Columbus over the past several weeks, gathering for informal skates before training camp. Every morning, Waddell made a point to walk around the locker room. He became encouraged when he witnessed some normal conversations, laughs, even chirps.
"The guys are handling it much better than I thought they would," Waddell said. "But we know there are going to be some tough nights throughout the year. Some dark times. And we're going to have to get through them as a group."
Waddell has already had to tackle uncomfortable tasks. He's still communicating with the league and players association on how the Blue Jackets will manage the salary cap; they're below the cap floor. Last week, Columbus signed veteran James van Riemsdyk to a one-year deal. Van Riemsdyk had other opportunities, but his reputation over 1,000-plus games in the league is as a good person and good teammate. For Columbus, this season is about making progress on the ice, but it's also about developing the right culture.
So the team continues to try to strike the right tone. It is remembering Gaudreau, but also understanding the importance of moving forward. Evason was already preaching a clean slate before the tragedy. He was hired as coach this summer, and one of his big focuses was to let players earn their spots. He told his staff not to tell him anything about the players -- their personalities, how they played last year, how they conducted themselves. Everyone is getting a fresh start on the ice.
The team postponed traditional festivities for their home opener, including player blue carpet arrivals and a fan festival, to the second game. "It just didn't feel right," Waddell said.
The Oct. 15 opener at Nationwide Arena will be focused on honoring the Gaudreau brothers. Everyone is prepared for another wave of emotions and know it's another step in the grieving process.
Said Monahan: "I'll miss him the rest of my life."