Former Carlton and Melbourne midfielder Brock McLean has admitted he attempted suicide after the Blues delisted him at the end of 2014.
Speaking on the Herald Sun's 'Sacked' podcast, McLean revealed the wave of emotions which overcame him upon being spat out of the league as a 28-year-old, and how at one point it was all too much.
"My self-worth was tied to what I was doing. When I was a footballer I had a high self-worth, so when I finished footy I was at the bottom rung," McLean told the Herald Sun. "It got to the point in my life where I was like, 'I can't do this anymore' and I tried to kill myself.
"It was in August 2017, I spent two or three days in ICU in St Vincent's Hospital and another two or three days in the general ward while I got over my attempted suicide ailments and then spent three weeks in the Melbourne Clinic, a psychiatric ward. Even then I didn't fully grasp how unwell I was.
"So I got out, got off the grog for a few months and once I had a drink the old habits came back.
McLean, who was diagnosed with bipolar in 2019, also revealed he battled bulimia during his 147-game playing career.
"I was bulimic for two or three years while I was playing towards the end of my career," he said. "I was barely eating anything.
"My diet was so regimented, I was stripping bits of fat off meat and making sure that I weighted food and did all this type of stuff. A month of eating like that it gets to a point where you're like 's---, I need some junk food, I need to have a bit of a binge."
"So that's when I started to make myself throw up. It got to a point where I was doing it every night. It was quite consistent throughout sort of 2012 and '13, 2010 and '11 was probably when it started."
McLean has since been able to turn his life around thank to regular therapy sessions.
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