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'I'm not a grub': Brumbies' Darcy Swain ready to change opinions with on-field actions

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It was a split-second moment that saw Darcy Swain's name splashed across headlines and online forums alongside the moniker 'grub'. Entering a ruck from the side during Bledisloe I, 2022, Swain wrapped his arm around Quinn Tupaea's leg, bringing the All Blacks centre down and injuring his knee in the process.

It was Swain's second horror indiscretion in the Wallabies jersey in three months -- his first a red card for a headbutt on England's Jonny Hill --- and resulted in Tupaea spending the whole 2023 season on the sidelines, while Swain was yellow-carded and later handed a six-game suspension.

Savaged by fans and commentators for the act, Swain was quick to apologise to Tupaea after the centre suffered a ruptured medial cruciate ligament (MCL) and partial anterior crucial ligament (ACL) tear in his left knee; but the Australian's continued poor disciplinary record since has seen him painted as an on-field liability.

Opening up about the incident and the ensuing disciplinary issues he believes cost him a place at the Rugby World Cup, Swain said he was entering the 2024 Super Rugby Pacific season keen to get more minutes and prove to the rugby world he isn't a dirty player.

"I think it is [unwarranted to be labelled a grub], obviously those two incidents were pretty close together and it did bring a lot of bad connotations with it," Swain told ESPN.

"I regret both incidents, I just can't do anything about it now, it's in the past. I just want to get past it now and play as much rugby as I can and just show people that I'm not a grub or a bad boy or whatever.

"I didn't play that much last year with selection and with a little injury, so I didn't get much game time. I just want to get out there and play footy and I know if I do that, I can hopefully play some better footy and put my hand up to start a bit more and hopefully get back into the Wallabies setup."

Swain was a part of the Wallabies training camp under Eddie Jones last April despite his limited minutes with the Brumbies, before he was ruled out through a head knock. It would prove to be his only chance to impress Jones, who went on to tell the lock he needed to clean up his act.

"I think it [poor discipline] definitely contributed [to missing out on a World Cup call up]," Swain said. "I went on a bit of a run and just wasn't able to control my frustrations on the field. Just yellow cards or a few penalties here and there and that really didn't help my game.

"I think especially when I'm not a Fraser McReight, getting three turnovers a game, or Bobby [Valetini] running through 10 blokes. I just do the s-----ers [less glamourous jobs] and just win good lineout ball for my team.

"When you're contributing a yellow card and then two or three penalties a game, it's not good for yourself or for the team, so I just have to get back to playing good footy.

"I know it probably did have an effect on my time and I did have a conversation with Eddie [Jones] and he told me I need to control my frustrations and my anger on the field."

Swain has since turned to sports psychologist Guy Little at the Brumbies to try to understand why he was unable to control his outbursts on the pitch and develop ways to overcome his frustrations.

"I've done a lot of work with Guy Little and he's helping me heaps. I just want to get back to training and put that stuff in practice and then start playing more footy so I can do the same during games," Swain said.

"It's just a matter of trying to bring a bit of awareness to it and understand when I'm getting too aroused and just try to bring myself down. The only way I can really implement that stuff is to train it more.

"I did see a lot of good fruit come out of it at the end of last year, but I certainly can do a lot more in that space. It's about time in the saddle, I've just got to get out there and train it and then play it."

Forced to watch from Australia as the Wallabies fell to pieces in their worst World Cup performance ever, the 26-year-old couldn't help but feel frustrated by the situation surrounding Dave Rennie's sacking and that he couldn't help his teammates, especially good friend Nick Frost who was left in tears following the Wallabies' record loss to Wales.

"I would have loved to be there, I like to think I could have made a contribution to the campaign," Swain told ESPN. "But it is what it is. I think we've all seen what happens when you get that wrong.

"That's not up to the players. All of us had full faith, I certainly had full faith in Dave and his team, but that's just the way that RA [Rugby Australia] saw it. It is what it is, hopefully they can get it right this time.

"In a way, it sort of does [leave a bitter taste]. It's not really fair how he was let go. Everyone saw the effect it ended up having.

"You can't really do too much with six months to go. As good as all those coaches were, they had six months on their hands and that's really not enough to go into preparation when other teams had a full four years' preparation with a full head coach and the full team of coaches.

"When they lost against Wales and Frost was on TV, having a bit of a cry, I felt so sorry for him, you know? He's a good mate and he's obviously going through the hardship. I swung him a message and got around him and he's in rehab too, so we've been grinding it out together; lifting tin, doing a bit of drilling and what-not together. It's been good."

While a Wallabies recall is high on Swain's priority list for 2024, recovering from offseason knee surgery and taking the Brumbies a step further and winning a Super Rugby title for the first time in 20 years is his main aim as the countdown to kick-off edges closer.

"We didn't really perform that well last year, we made the semis but that's sort of consistent with what we've had in the last three or four years," Swain told ESPN.

"There's a big opportunity for us, because we've got minimal turnover, we've obviously built a lot of momentum over the last two or three years, a lot of boys have a lot of experience now and I think if we use that momentum there's no reason why we can't go one step further, go to the final, go another step further and win this thing."

Regardless of where he stands with Tupaea, Swain is ready to put that moment behind him.

"I sent him a WhatsApp straight away saying I know it's nothing, it's not going to mean anything, but I did regret what I did and I'm sorry. But you know, that's between me and him, if he doesn't want to... I'll just leave it at that."