So I don't know where it actually came from.
I just know my great Uncle Lester used to tell it to me.
Longtime readers of mine know about my late, great Uncle Lester whom I have written about before, both in this column and in my book. For those unfamiliar, my great Uncle Lester was the family patriarch of my father's side of the family, overseeing his wife, Cookie (90 years young in February!); three daughters; seven grandkids; 15 great-grandkids; and countless cousins, in-laws and other extended family.
He meant the world to me, and when I would get to see him in Denver, he would always say the same thing. "Maaaaaatttthewwwww," he would drawl. He had a way of making my name four syllables. Sitting there in his 10-gallon hat, familiar stogie in his right hand, my Uncle Lester made his money in land and oil and always looked the part.
"Maaaaaattttthewwww," he'd drawl, "come philosophize with your old Uncle Lester." That's what he called it. As a self-made man who grew up the son of poor immigrants, he had to start working full time at age 13. As you might imagine from a self-taught man who served our country overseas in World War II and was a self-made millionaire with the same girlfriend -- as he always referred to Aunt Cookie -- for more than 70 years, my uncle had many strong opinions backed up by a wealth of life experience. And when he would philosophize, he would share them with me.
I remember one day he saw that I was down and asked why. I complained about what I am sure was some dumb teenage problem that I was positive was the end of the world right then. Yeah, I've been dramatic my entire life.
I asked my uncle what I should do. He didn't answer me directly, but instead just smiled. "What?" I said. He just smiled, nodded, and then asked me if I'd heard the old Yiddish fable about the man in the small house.
I hadn't. Uncle Lester nodded, put his stogie down, turned to look at me and started in: There's a young man in town. Recently married, the man has a small house. And one day, he goes to see the rabbi in town. Everyone in town knew the rabbi was the smartest man in town, the most learned.
So the man sits down and says, "Rabbi, I have a terrible problem. My house is too small. I am recently married, and we want to start a family. But my house is too small, and I cannot afford a bigger one. Nor can I add to the house as we use the land for our farm, which is how I make my living. I do not know what to do. Can you help me get a bigger house?"
The rabbi sat and listened intently to the concerns and excuses of the man, saying nothing. And finally, the rabbi spoke.
"I want you to go home and bring two of your goats into the house to live with you."
The man was shocked. "But, Rabbi ..."
The rabbi held up a hand to silence the man. "Do as I say. Bring the goats in, and then come back and see me in a week."
The man was confused. This made no sense and would not help his issue at all. When he went home, his wife didn't want to do it. But the man said, "The rabbi is the smartest person in town. The most learned. We have to do what he says." The wife glumly nodded, so they went out and brought the goats into live with them.
A week later, the man went to see the rabbi. He told the rabbi that it had been tough, but he had done what the rabbi had asked. The rabbi nodded.
"Now I want you to go back home and move your donkey into the house as well."
"But, Rabbi!" the man argued, and again the rabbi held up a hand. "Do as I say. Come back and see me in a week."
So once again, scratching his head, the man walked and reluctantly did as the rabbi said, bringing the donkey in the house to live with him, his wife and the two goats.
A week later he came back to see the rabbi. "I have to say, I am very confused, Rabbi. But I have done as you say."
The rabbi nodded and said, "I want you to go home and also bring your cow to live in the house with you, your wife, your goats and donkey."
The man practically exploded. "Rabbi! We can't! We can barely move around as it is!"
"Do as I say, and come see me in a week."
And so, reluctantly and with great effort, the couple did just that. A week later, the man visited the rabbi.
"It has been very trying, Rabbi, but we have done as you instructed."
The rabbi nodded and said, "Now I want you to go home and take all of your animals out of your house. Come see me tomorrow."
The man went home and did just that. The next day, he came back to see the rabbi with a huge smile on his face.
"Rabbi, we have so much room now. We do not need a bigger house or more land. We have everything we need to start a family. Thank you, Rabbi!"
And with that, my uncle looked up at me. "Old Yiddish fable. Old Yiddish fable," and he grinned at me.
He had given me the answer to my problem in the way only he could.
He told me that story four decades ago, and yet I can remember it like it was yesterday. Was thinking about it a lot recently, with Thanksgiving upon us.
Monday night, I was complaining on Twitter about the Texans' complete inability to get the ball to DeAndre Hopkins, about the touchdown taken away, about the poor officiating and all of it, and it was a typical whiny Twitter conversation in which I heard from followers, also frustrated, many of them having just suffered excruciating losses by half a point, half a yard, mere decimals.
It's easy to complain. Hey, I'm as guilty as the next person, you know? There's a reason there is such a thing as the Bitter Berry on the podcast.
As the holidays get closer, the weather gets colder and the fantasy season gets narrow and close to ending for some ... frustration is sure to boil up. And there is no doubt that there are very real world issues that deserve concern.
So as Thanksgiving is upon us, I thought I would share my uncle's story and remind you to think of the man and the small house. We often have everything we need, we just have to look at it from a different perspective, you know?
I assure you, no matter what your situation is in life, there is someone out there who has it worse. Trust me. Just the fact you can read this on a computer or phone or tablet means you have it better than many folks. You have much, much to be thankful for.
I know I certainly do. I miss my uncle terribly, and I think often of my Aunt Cookie and the entire family in Denver. As you read this, I'll be at home with my wife and kids being thankful for that and knowing how blessed I am to be able to come in on Sunday and talk about fake football.
I am truly blessed, and if Thanksgiving is about being thankful, allow me to take a moment to tell you how grateful I am that you continue to come on this journey with me, putting up with the bad, celebrating the good and allowing me into your life for a few moments every week.
It's not lost on me, and I thank you for it.
Let's get to it.
All team stats referenced are for the past four weeks, unless otherwise noted. For your convenience, the Thanksgiving section that was published earlier has been removed but can still be seen here. On Thanksgiving, it's appropriate to show love and appreciation for "Thirsty" Kyle Soppe of ESPN Fantasy for his help with the column every week, including this one.
Quarterbacks I love in Week 12
Russell Wilson, Seahawks: As hot a quarterback as there is in fantasy -- amirite, Ciara? -- Wilson gets another strong matchup here. Averaging more than 300 yards a game in his past three, the Bucs are 25th against the pass and have allowed 20 touchdown passes on the year, which, now that I write it down, seems like a lot. Wilson is completing a league-high 59.3 percent of his deep passes this year, and wouldn't you know it, Tampa has allowed a league-high 42 pass plays of 20-plus yards. Wilson is locked in as a top-five play this week and is worth the price in daily.
Marcus Mariota, Titans: At least 295 total yards in three straight games, along with total 10 touchdowns, means he has had more than 20 points in all of those games. He is on the longest streak of multi-passing touchdown games in the NFL, at seven, and after Sunday, it'll be eight. The Bears' offense will struggle in this one, allowing for Mariota to leverage good field position into scoring opportunities. Mariota's mobility will help against the Chicago D's strength, its front seven, and with the Bears having allowed eight touchdown passes in their past four, I expect Mariota to finish as a top-10 QB.
Others receiving votes: Those Andrew Luck owners who are scrambling -- Get it? Scrambling? Eh, what do you know? -- to find a replacement should look to a guy we've been talking about quite a bit on the podcast the past month: Colin Kaepernick. Over the past three weeks, Kap has the same number of fantasy points as Derek Carr and has been the fifth-best fantasy QB. Since making his first start in Week 6, he is a top-10 fantasy QB on a points-per-game basis. The Dolphins' D has played better, but it has struggled against mobile quarterbacks, allowing 23 points to Tyrod Taylor and 30 to Marcus Mariota, and the rushing is what keeps Kap's floor high. ... The Browns have allowed multiple touchdown passes in nine of 11 games this season and at least 20 QB points in five of their past seven games, putting Eli Manning on "QB2 with upside" watch. ... The truly QB desperate can look to Carson Wentz, who has double-digit fantasy points in three of the past four and has a great matchup against a truly banged-up Green Bay secondary that has allowed seven touchdown passes in its past two games.
Quarterbacks I hate in Week 12
Philip Rivers, Chargers: Rivers is a QB2 who is completing a career-low 62.1 percent of his passes. He'll face the Texans' fourth-ranked pass defense in a game that should feature a ton of Melvin Gordon against Houston's 21st-ranked run defense. Hope I'm wrong on this one, because I need to use Rivers in two leagues this week, but the Texans have allowed the fifth-fewest fantasy points per game to opposing QBs. Yes, Derek Carr had a nice night against them, but the Raiders got a lot of yards after the catch, with running backs scampering on missed angles and Amari Cooper doing what few humans on the planet can do, so, you know, tough to count on. The Texans are allowing just 11 fantasy points a game to opposing quarterbacks at home this year, and no opposing QB (including Luck, Mariota and Matthew Stafford) has thrown more than one touchdown in Houston.
Andy Dalton, Bengals: The Ravens have allowed just 12 points per game this year to opposing QBs, and The Red Rifle comes in more like an orange pop gun, having failed to throw multiple touchdown passes in three straight games. No A.J. Green, no Giovani Bernard, no thanks.
Running backs I love in Week 12
Jay Ajayi, Dolphins: Just because it's obvious doesn't mean it isn't true. At home against a 49ers team that has allowed 13 rushing touchdowns to running backs in its past eight games and more than 200 rushing yards in six of its past seven, Ajayi has a legitimate shot to once again be the week's top fantasy back. He'll be an insanely (and deservedly) popular daily play. Ajayi is top five in the NFL in yards per carry before and after first contact, and you'll never guess what NFL team allows the most yards before contact.
Thomas Rawls, Seahawks: Welcome back, Thomas. Ready to carry the workload with everyone this side of Alex Collins banged up, Rawls has four career games with 18 or more carries. He has five touchdowns in those games, scoring in each of them while averaging more than 6 yards a carry. In Weeks 3-6, without a healthy Rawls or C.J. Prosise, the Seahawks' No. 1 back was Christine Michael, and he got 18 carries in all of them. Now, Russell Wilson is healthier than he was then, and this offense is less run-oriented, obviously. Wilson is a love, too, but whatevs. Since Week 5, the Bucs have allowed the fourth-highest average yards before contact per carry (3.15). There's plenty for everyone to eat here against the Bucs' 25th-ranked run defense, and Rawls is an easy top-10 play for me.
Devontae Booker, Broncos: With Booker getting more than 81 percent of Denver's running back touches the past three games, the Kapri Bibbs thing never really materialized. Nor did the Booker being a stud thing, but I like his chances of heading in that direction Sunday against a Chiefs team that is 27th against the run. This game feels like a low-scoring slugfest, so I expect volume here for Booker in a prime-time start at home off the bye, putting him solidly in RB2 territory.
Rashad Jennings, Giants: On the "hate" list last week, Jennings shut me up against a tough Bears run defense, and the Giants are finally sticking with him. With at least 18 touches the past two weeks, he has rewarded the team's faith in him by averaging 4.8 yards per carry and racking up 238 total yards. The Browns are giving up 166.4 rush yards per game and have allowed 8 touchdowns over their past 5 games. But why go on? Admit it, I had you at "the Browns." Rashad's top 15 for me this week.
Others receiving votes: Carlos Hyde got 22 touches last week and looks fully healthy. Kaepernick's mobility helps here, so expect another heavy dose of carries against Miami's 30th-ranked run defense. ... Doug Pederson is turning into Mike Shanahan for a new generation, if you consider what he says and then what he actually does with his running backs. That said, I'd be surprised to see Ryan Mathews or Darren Sproles get a lot of work, even if active, making Wendell Smallwood (75 percent available) a high-upside RB2 against Green Bay's leaky run defense, which has allowed seven touchdowns to running backs in the past four games. ... With Blake Borltes bortling his way to the injury report, and T.J. Yeldon, uh, yeldoning there as well, expect the Jags to lean heavily on Chris Ivory against the Bills' 20th- ranked run defense. There are only five teams in the NFL that have allowed more rushing touchdowns this year than the Buffalo Bills.
Running backs I hate in Week 12
Jordan Howard, Bears: Not a great matchup here against the Titans (remember them?). They have allowed less than 65 rushing yards to running backs in six of their past seven games and are the seventh-best run defense over the past four weeks, and, you know, Matt Barkley is going to start under center for the Bears. Without Alshon Jeffery or Zach Miller to throw to, Chicago can expect a loaded box for Howard and a very inefficient offense, limiting scoring opportunities for him. Howard is just a flex play for me this week, based solely on volume.
Latavius Murray, Raiders: Murray has been held to less than 60 rushing yards in seven of his eight games this year, but you haven't cared, because he has been scoring touchdowns. In fact, 48 percent -- or, you know, almost half of Murray's fantasy points this season -- have come in the red zone. Well, the Panthers rank third-best in the NFL in red zone defensive efficiency and are the second-best rushing defense overall. They haven't allowed a RB rushing touchdown since Week 4 and have given up just three all season. I expect this game to be all about Derek Carr and his receivers, leaving Murray as merely a flex play.
Wide receivers I love in Week 12
Doug Baldwin, Seahawks: Apparently I am on Seattle this week. Great matchup as mentioned in the Wilson write-up: Baldwin leads Seattle in targets over the past three weeks with at least 80 yards or a score in three straight games (including the crazy three-touchdown game), he is on the rise alongside Russell Wilson and the entire Seahawks offense.
Demaryius Thomas, Broncos: With at least 10 targets in five straight games, at least five catches in nine straight and, as Mike Clay notes in his terrific WR/CB matchup article
, DT "lines up wide to Trevor Siemian's left on 45 percent of his pass routes. It's there that (struggling corner Phillip) Gaines has lined up 93 percent of the time this season." Thomas still sees some Marcus Peters, but I'm rolling him out there as a top-10 play. Worth noting: Since their Week 5 bye, the Chiefs have faced four fantasy-relevant WRs who stand at least 6 feet, 3 inches tall (Thomas is 6-3): Michael Thomas, Allen Robinson, Kelvin Benjamin, and Mike Evans. Each of them went for at least 6 for 76.
Julian Edelman, Patriots: Since Tom Brady's return in Week 5, Julian Edelman has seen 61 targets in six games, identical to Julio Jones. At least 99 yards or a touchdown in three straight, plus Rob Gronkowski's expected absence should only increase Edelman's usage against the Jets' struggling 19th-ranked secondary. Top-10 play for me in standard.
Others receiving votes: Jordan Matthews has seen 10 or more targets in four straight games and, as you may have heard, the Packers' secondary is, um, struggling. ... Sterling Shepard has scored in three straight games and, with Joe Haden expected to shadow Odell Beckham Jr., you could certainly see some extra love going Shepard's way (Odell will still be heavily targeted of course). ... Steve Smith Sr. has scores in back-to-back games, at least eight catches in three of his past six and gets a Bengals team that has given up 45 receptions for 496 yards and three touchdowns to opposing wideouts in just the past three games. ... I see you, DeVante Parker, with your back-to-back games of double-digit fantasy points and a matchup with a 49ers squad that is top three in the NFL in terms of most deep completions allowed, deep touchdowns surrendered and highest completion percentage against on deep balls.
Wide receivers I hate in Week 12
Brandon Marshall, Jets: Single-digit fantasy points in five straight, he's killing fantasy teams. So if you own him and are still reading this because you are still alive in your league, congrats on overcoming that early-round land mine. Yeesh. He has gone five straight without more than 70 yards, the first time he's done that since 2010 with the Dolphins. He's caught just 48.9 percent of his targets this year, sixth worst among qualified wideouts. Yeah, he's been BRU-TAL. With expected shadow coverage from Malcolm Butler and, shall we say, inconsistent QB play from Ryan Fitzpatrick (hey, it's the holidays, I'm being kind), Marshall is nothing more than a risky WR3. I have him in two leagues and he is nowhere near my starting lineup in either.
Tyrell Williams, Chargers: I'm super nervous about Williams for all the reasons I listed in the Rivers passage. Denver shut him down twice this year with a total of four catches for 32 yards, and while I am not saying Houston is Denver in the secondary, the Texans are really good, and with Travis Benjamin back, I expect Williams' target share to go down a little here as well. He'll see a lot of underrated corner A.J. Bouye, making him a WR3 for me rather than the high-end WR2 he has been more recently.
Brandon LaFell and Tyler Boyd, Bengals: Let's see how this offense looks without A.J. Green before we risk anyone in the passing game not named Tyler Eifert, cool?
Tight ends I love in Week 12
Zach Ertz, Eagles: Averaging 8.7 targets a game over his past three, and the Packers' defensive struggles extend to tight ends, where they give up the sixth-most fantasy points to the position. Top-seven play for me.
C.J. Fiedorowicz, Texans: He has recorded five or more catches in four of his past five, and the Chargers are second in terms of number of QB pressures this year. And when the pressure comes, over 43 percent of the team receptions go to tight ends, which only makes sense, and only one team targets the tight end more than Houston. He's a high-floor but low-end TE1 who is still available in 62 percent of leagues.
Others receiving votes: Will Tye has gotten at least five targets in three straight games, scored last week and now gets a Browns squad that gives up the most fantasy points to opposing tight ends. ... Vance McDonald now has scores in two of the past three, at least six targets in four straight and the Dolphins are in the upper half of most fantasy points allowed to tight ends. You could do worse for your streaming needs in deeper leagues.
Tight ends I hate in Week 12
Coby Fleener, Saints: The Rams have allowed just 2.6 fantasy points per game to opposing tight ends the past five games. Fleener has under 50 in five straight and less than five targets a game over his past seven. Brutal. He is tight end's answer to Brandon Marshall.
Jared Cook, Packers: Don't let last week suck you in. He is not good at football. The Eagles have allowed the third-fewest points to tight ends (they haven't faced many good ones, but once again, Jared Cook is not good) and opposing tight ends have scored five or fewer points in seven of their 10 games this year. We've seen this before: Cook has a big game and falls back to Earth. I get it -- on the field with Aaron Rodgers, anything can happen, but if he goes off, it won't be for me.
Defenses I love in Week 12
New York Giants D/ST: You know ... Cleveland. The Browns allow the second-most sacks per game. G-Men are still available in about 20 percent of leagues.
Tennessee Titans D/ST: You know ... Matt Barkley. As our player card notes, the Titans are sixth in the NFL in blitz rate and Barkley has struggled against, well, everything. No Alshon Jeffery or Zach Miller for this offense either; this could get ugly. Titans D is available in 75 percent of leagues.
Others receiving votes: The opposing defense has scored at least six points in six of the past seven 49ers games, making the Miami Dolphins D you picked up last week viable again this week. ... The San Diego Chargers have double-digit fantasy points in two of the past three, are coming off a bye, and, you know ... Brock.
Defenses I hate in Week 12
Carolina Panthers D/ST: Averaging just 2.5 points per game on the road this year, I don't love Carolina (especially with Luke Kuechly not playing) on the road at Oakland this week, where opposing defenses average less than three points a game. Behind Derek Carr and his receiving corps, the Raiders have allowed the second-fewest fantasy points to opposing defenses.
Philadelphia Eagles D/ST: The struggles of the Packers' defense have kept Aaron chucking it all night long, and that's the last thing you want if you own Philly's defense. No thanks.
Matthew Berry, The Talented Mr. Roto, will always have room for you and your goats. He is the creator of RotoPass.com, a paid spokesman for DraftKings.com and one of the owners of the Fantasy Life app.